Sarah Hardwicke: Listen, I don't know what happens next. I'm just going to keep loving you and I'm going to keep hoping you let me into your life. I will make mistakes, of course, but I'll always be there for you.
Sarah Hardwicke: Listen, Carter I need to tell you something.
Carter Webb: Good because I need to tell you something too.
Sarah Hardwicke: You first.
Carter Webb: I think your husband must be out of his mind... now what was it you had to say?
Sarah Hardwicke: Oh, it was nothing important.
Paige Hardwicke: Oh, let's see the new Colin Farrell movie.
Carter Webb: Oh, let's not.
Carter Webb: Hey Grandma, not okay to answer the door when you're not wearing clothes.
Carter Webb: Grandma, listen to me. It's not okay to answer the door when you're not wearing pants. In fact, it's never okay to do anything involving other people when you're not wearing any clothes.
Carter Webb: Sophia dumped me.
Agnes Webb: Are You kidding me? When?
Carter Webb: About an hour and a half ago, I've been in traffic.
Sarah Hardwicke: I better get going before my daughter comes out and gives me that look that I'm the most embarrassing person on earth. I hate that look. Probably 'cause I used to give it to my mother.
Carter Webb: I pride myself on being this great listener, but whenever I meet somebody new I find I'm doing all the talking.
Sarah Hardwicke: Maybe you're not really such a great listener.
Carter Webb: Hmm?
Sarah Hardwicke: Maybe you're not such a great listener.
Carter Webb: No that's not it, I'm a great listener.
Carter Webb: I am mysterious.
Carter Webb: What is it?
Phyllis: It's possible, I think maybe, my toilet might be stopped up.
Carter Webb: Maybe? What's the variable?
Phyllis: Water is running over the top. The carpet is all wet.
Carter Webb: Well I'll take a look, first I just gotta stop off at my room and kill myself.