Romulus Augustus: Mother, am I now the most powerful man in the world?
Flavia: Of course you are.
Romulus Augustus: Then why can't I stay out tonight?
Noah Wilder: You don't need that much sugar, dad.
Dudley Frank: What'd you do, Woody?
Woody Stevens: I cut the gas lines of their bikes, and then I maybe blew up their bar.
Pinbacker: At the end of time, a moment will come when just one man remains. Then the moment will pass. Man will be gone. There will be nothing to show that we were ever here... But stardust.
Silas: I gonna drop you like K-Fed.
Ghost: Twig.
Pathfinder: Spear.
Lamia: You'd better be telling the truth, you two-faced dog.
Ferdy the Fence: I can get you one of them, actually. Very good guard dogs. They can watch the back and the front door at the same time.
Man Who Rides Shotgun: Don't you think you should hang back?
Hertz: The leader who stays in the rear, takes it in the rear.
Oglethorpe: The only thing bull semen has ever done for me is activate my gag reflex.
Benjamin: We are journalists! We can't do this. It is unethical... and insane.
Simon: It would be a pleasure to personally catch him.
Benjamin: By ourselves. By ourselves. We don't even have any weapons.
Simon: If I gave you a gun, would you know how to use it?
Benjamin: No.
Simon: Then what the fuck are you complaining about?
Duck: I told you. The moment you start drinking that Bosnian brandy, the devil's sitting in the corner, just laughing.
Will Stanton: It's so... and ya know, and I'm like... this whole thing's just... arrr, you know.
Merriman Lyon: Is that it?
Lord Asriel: I wouldn't recommend the Tokay, gentlemen, it's corked.
Inspektor: You have no idea who you are?
Larry McCoy: I'm getting too fat for this shit.