Don Eppes: Hey, Dad. What are you doing here?
Alan Eppes: Well, I-I like coming whenever Charlie gives one of these math-for-dummies lectures. It's the only time I actually understand what he's talking about.
Red Lance: You... read all these books?
Voices That Carry: There's much to learn from them.
Red Lance: What good is this knowledge?
Voices That Carry: You have many questions Red Lance, but you have no desire to hear the answers.
Red Lance: And you do not wish to learn.
Voices That Carry: I've told you. The Ghost Dance is only superstition. Spirits can't help our people. Only we can do that for ourselves.
Red Lance: You do not have ears. You will not listen.
Andy Botwin: Hey, Lupita, settle an argument for us, what do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole?
Lupita: The coffee table.
Danny: But I thought you had to pee.
Anne Sorelli: My anger absorbed it. Outside, now.
Mackenzie Allen: What a town. You can't even trust the backstabbers.
Theme: It used to be my mother and my sister and me, a happy little family, and all right with me. When mom got married, that's when everything changed. Some things were lost, and others were gained. A new school, a new house, so many changes it makes my head spin. Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin. This is life with Derek. This is life with Derek. This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George, Nora, Marti, and Casey. This is life with Derek. Livin' life with Derek.
Kim: It's amazing the things you do when you're a fucked-up teenager. Adolescents are hormonally insane.
Huey Freeman: Vision? What do you know about my vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions, and send the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you. Now ask yourself, Are you ready to see that vision?
Juniper Lee: You play bass, Dennis. It's a miracle anyone even notices you.
Joe Dubois: Ever since you made the decision not to go to law school, to go to work for the D.A. as a consultant, I don't know, you seem kinda.
Allison Dubois: Bitchy? Cranky? Pissed off?
Joe Dubois: You can read minds.
Mike Rowe: I don't see what can possibly go wrong.
Mr. Blick: The Kraken ate my tail.
Vanessa Dunphy: You're an asshole Mr. Howard. Five minutes from now I won't be yelling but you'll still be an asshole.
Clay: Orel, love gets in the way of the important things in life. Like going to sleep or being left alone.
Grandpa Max Tennyson: Being a hero isn't about letting others know you did the right thing, it's about you knowing you did the right thing.
Ben Tennyson: What were you just doing, reading greeting cards back at the Mega Mart?
Grandpa Max Tennyson: Well... yes.
Vicky: You know, maybe we shouldn't drink while the kids live here.
Dave: Come on, Vicky, we drink because the kids live here.
