Joe Dubois: Ever since you made the decision not to go to law school, to go to work for the D.A. as a consultant, I don't know, you seem kinda.
Allison Dubois: Bitchy? Cranky? Pissed off?
Joe Dubois: You can read minds.
Allison Dubois: I just had a weird dream.
Joe Dubois: Of course you did. It's a day ending in "Y."
Allison Dubois: It's 9:00. How am I supposed to know you're OK? How do I know you're not lying dead somewhere?
Joe Dubois: If something had happened, somebody would've called. If I were dead, who are we kidding, you'd be the first to know.
Captain Kenneth Push: That God... he is one perverse entity.
Catherine: Even among the special you're special.
Allison Dubois: How can you say that?
Joe Dubois: I move my lips, I push out air. There's nothing to it.
Joe Dubois: Call Maury Povich - tell him I'm ready for my close-up.