Sean Vetter: They call us down here. They take away our weapons? They expect us to go into a building full of drunken cartel gunmen unarmed? I mean, that isn't fun.
Ty Frost: You're not gettin' paid to have fun. Good luck, gentlemen.
Les Gault: What'd you do that for?
Joe Taylor: I had no use for it.
Les Gault: Must be worth something, though.
Joe Taylor: Not to me.
Brian: She's like the ones at the Baywatch. They make my penis sneeze.
Larry Gigli: You got a good sense of humor, you know that?
Brian: God bless you.
Larry Gigli: Thank you.
Brian: No, not you, stupid. When my penis sneezes, I say, 'God bless you'... God bless you, penis.
El Presidente: Who are you guys?
El Mariachi: Sons of Mexico, sir.
Leland: This one is something a friend of mine said to me. "You have to believe that life is more than the sum of its parts, kiddo." I remember it right now to the "kiddo" part. When I think about what she said, the same thing always comes into my head. What if you can't put the pieces together in the first place?
Inspector Lau Kin Ming: I'm a cop too.
Fait: You read Chinese?
Archie: No, but I know "cop" in every language.