Jerry Lynch: You just don't have the requisite Celtic soul, man.
Matt Lee Whitlock: Sometimes I think you want me to shoot you, Chae.
Donny: Yo what are you doin?
Stuntman: Gettin' ready to race.
Donny: Without a lid? You not just drunk you crazy.
Stuntman: Just consider it a reminder, in case you glance at me.
Donny: A reminder of what?
Stuntman: That your lid's about to become mine.
Donny: Yea right.
Sgt. Nathan West: As some of you may have heard, there is a hurricane warning tonight. Well, Rangers do not wait on good weather. Rangers do not wait for bright sun shiny days. Oh, no. Rangers are trained to operate in the worst possible conditions, and takes those conditions and turns them against their enemies. You each have one rifle, one side arm, and one white phosphorous grenade. This is a live E&E, so please keep those weapons safetied, so you are not to shoot off your nonexistent dicks.
PJ: If you jacked it, how come you got a receipt?
B-Rad: I stole that too.
Charles Townsend: Bosley, I hope the Angels aren't being too rough on you.
Bosley: Man, please. I date fat women. What you talkin' 'bout?
Ron Launius: What the fuck am I going to do with a microwave?
John Holmes: You can heat food with it.
Ron Launius: The only thing I want to heat up right now is some dope.
Detective Park Doo-Man: Do you get up each morning too?
Inspector Lau Kin Ming: I'm a cop too.
Leland: This one is something a friend of mine said to me. "You have to believe that life is more than the sum of its parts, kiddo." I remember it right now to the "kiddo" part. When I think about what she said, the same thing always comes into my head. What if you can't put the pieces together in the first place?
Zero: No smoking, no drinking? What kind of country is this?
Psychologist: You know, some folks believe everyone has a public life, a private life, and a secret life. What do you think about that?
Dan Mahowny: The thing is, I guess... that my secret life... is a bit less secret than everyone else's right now.
Les Gault: What'd you do that for?
Joe Taylor: I had no use for it.
Les Gault: Must be worth something, though.
Joe Taylor: Not to me.
Roy: Fourteen! You're fourteen! When'd you have time to get arrested?
El Presidente: Who are you guys?
El Mariachi: Sons of Mexico, sir.
Veronica Guerin: You'd do the same. If you saw those kids on the street, you would do the same.