Billy Flynn: Now look, I don't like to blow my own horn. But believe me. If Jesus Christ lived in Chicago today and if he had $5,000 and he'd come to me, things would have turned out differently.
Meowth: There they go. All we gotta do is follow them on top of them rooftops.
James: Well, I used to be quite a good gymnast.
Jessie: This is our big chance, I could almost taste it! Are you ready?
James: Yeah.
Salvadoran Man: Lawyers are a waste of oxygen.
Lester: My destiny is in God's hands. I'm cool with that.
Marcus: Why don't you rummage through your shitass genetic code?
Zé Pequeno: Can you read?
Gang Member: I can read only the pictures.
Agent Flood: Shiiit... Mr. Brogan, I do believe you're fucked... royally! shiiiiit....
Detective Arango: Hey McCaleb! We don't need your doughnuts... or your shit! We've got enough of our own.
Riley: This Bellini is starting to look like a real Kapuchnik.
Jim Byrd: You're 32 years old, and you've achieved nothing. Jesus Christ was dead and alive again by 33. You better get crackin'.
Okwe: My hands are shaking.
Guo Yi: So are mine! I don't have a driver's license.
Alistair: Joseph Stalin said that the death of one person is a tragedy. The death of a million, a statistic.
Bob Crane: I think it's perfect for me. I mean, this character Hogan, he's quick on his toes, he's hip, he's a con artist. I don't wanna jinx it, but I think it's what I've been working toward my whole career.
Anne Crane: Really? You've been working towards a Holocaust comedy?
Bob Crane: Ann.
Anne Crane: What, Bob?
Bob Crane: Please, not in front of the children! They look up to me.
Anne Crane: They're small. They look up to everyone.
Jack Van Meter: Get the hell down from there. While you're grandstanding here the city is starting to burn. Jimmy for Christ sakes.
Det. Sgt. Eldon Perry Jr.: If the city is starting to burn, Jack, it's partly because of guys like you and me. And I may be a goddamm alcoholic but that doesn't mean I can't tell the truth - and I've got all the deep deep dirt right here. Somebody put the cufs on me - let me start talking.
Monroe Hutchens: He's a fighter, I'm a fighter, if I'm better on that day, I win. That's just the way it goes. Someday, every fighter loses. Sooner or later, somebody comes along and they got your ticket. Too old, just wasn't your day, whatever the reason is. In the end, everybody gets beaten. The most you can hope for is that you stay on top a while. Be the best.
Khamtay: Why would you buy me those?
Jeffrey Dahmer: Because I like to do nice things for people. Makes me feel good about myself.
Khamtay: Are you some kind of nut?
Jeffrey Dahmer: That's sad.
Khamtay: What?
Jeffrey Dahmer: That we've gotten to a point where doing nice things for people is considered insane.
Slim: You know the deal, you're here as an observer. You pay attention to the clock. You do not engage in gun play unless it is strictly necessary. We do not depart from the plan in any way.
Jerry: Yeah, whatever you say. Only one thing, does this plan change any if you're dead?
Bobby: Excuse me. I don't mean to impose, but I am the Ocean.