Hortensia: Careful, dear, boys don't like smart-asses.
Maribel Naranjo: No, they just like asses.
Jack: I thought I was disconnected from everything, for a long time I'd been leading an unstable, risky life. I'd hung out with all sorts of people, nothing could shock me anymore. I was not impressed by the unexpected, I'd always been able to handle it. That night however, when I saw Claire again, I just fell to pieces. I thought I'd managed to forget her, I'd overcome the pain and remorse which made me want to see her again.
Mary: Oh my God, you castrated him.
Eric: Love may not make the world go round, but it makes the ride worth while.
Febre the Man in Black: What if I absolutely must kill someone?
Cardinal Richelieu: Well, if you must, you must.
Ian: You know when you're with someone there's only a very short time when you can really give each other things for free... with neither of you having to ask. Because later on all you do is make demands of each other. Perhaps the only difference between her and all the rest is that she's asking you for nothing.
Katie: Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, *cut*. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.
Napoleon Bonaparte: I am Napoleon.
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: No, you're not Napoleon! I hate Napoleon! He's filled France with widows and orphans! He took my husband! I won't let him take you.
Kiki: I bet you've never read a book in your life.
Gwen: Ha! I read all four of the Harry Potter books.
Luisa: You have to make the clitoris your best friend.
Tenoch: What kind of friend is always hiding?
Carlos: You're crazy.
Nicole: ...and you're beautiful.
Corelli: Do you miss me?
Pelagia: So much that I can't sleep at night.
Stu Miley: The woman I love is living with a horny little monkey that looks like me.
Kitty: What a lucky girl.
Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.
Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.
Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?
Drix: No.
Gladys: I'm gonna have red beans for dinner.
Amy Mandell: The primary difference between a man and a woman is that man gets his self-esteem when a woman says yes and a women gets hers when she says no.
Stan: There's been a PI at the shark pool.
Jordan: PI?
Stan: Puking incident. Some kid puked all over the shark pool. Anyway, I need you to clean it up for me right away. A.S.A.P.
Basin: My dance partner? shit.
Dr. Desmond Forest Oates: That's enough out of your muck mouth.
Iris: I'm a wonderful housekeeper. I got divorced three times, and I kept all the houses.
Charlotte Gray: Tomorrow, I'm dirty down there. We'll be together tomorrow when I'm clean, you want me clean right?
Renech: If you try to leave.
Charlotte Gray: I won't.
Renech: I'm not afraid to kill you.
Charlotte Gray: Tomorrow.
Renech: You will come, I know many people. You understand? Many people.
Charlotte Gray: I understand... I understand.