Ian: You know when you're with someone there's only a very short time when you can really give each other things for free... with neither of you having to ask. Because later on all you do is make demands of each other. Perhaps the only difference between her and all the rest is that she's asking you for nothing.
Berke Landers: Felix, I've taken pisses longer than your last three relationships.
Tom Jericho: Puck and Claire were having an af.
Wigram: Were seeing each other, as you like to put it. Seeing each other's brains out.
D'Artagnan: Do not harm her.
Febre the Man in Black: But, I feel the need to harm someone.
Carmen Naranjo: Do you know why we clink glasses before drinking?.. It's so that all the five senses are involved. We touch the glass. We smell the drink. We see its color. We taste it. Hearing is the only sense that doesn't participate unless we create it.
Jane: You know, that's why God invented turtlenecks.
Eddie: No, that's why God invented Darlene.
Mary: Oh my God, you castrated him.
Katie: Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, *cut*. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.
Kevin Gibbons: Two questions... what is your name, and can I please have your phone number?
Abby: Abby... and I thought you'd never ask.
Stu Miley: The woman I love is living with a horny little monkey that looks like me.
Kitty: What a lucky girl.
David: I want to live a real life... I don't want to dream any longer.
Amy Mandell: The primary difference between a man and a woman is that man gets his self-esteem when a woman says yes and a women gets hers when she says no.
Shane Detorre: [As Frank is about to eat the egg that fell on the ground] Dad! That's filthy!
Frank Detorre: Honey, ten-second rule. Hits the ground, you pick it up within ten seconds, you can eat it. [Bites into the egg] Mmmm.
Shane: Ugh!
Iris: I'm a wonderful housekeeper. I got divorced three times, and I kept all the houses.
Jeffrey: Wanna play Frisbee?
Keegan: A plastic spinning dog toy? No thanks.
Iris Murdoch: People have obsessions and fears and passions which they don't admit to. I think every character is interesting and has extremes. It's the novelist privilege to see how odd everyone is.
Napoleon Bonaparte: Six years of English cooking... six years of staring at these dreary walls... and at your gloomy face. You're quite ugly, did you know that? I haven't had the heart to tell you.
Louis Marchand: Yes, sire.
Meg Harper: You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
Joe: It sounds pretty self-explanatory.
Helen: Some people smoke pot, some people bungee jump, some people chant. What do you do to be happy?
Jessica: Nothing. I'm not.