Matt: Would you like a falafel with that?
Oz: All right, here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay? You find a girl. You two become best friends. And you don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other. You just laugh at the people that do count.
Stifler: Here's a new idea for you. I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
Peter Appleton: I thought this was a democracy.
Leo Kubelsky: The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, they're all just pieces of paper with signatures on them. And you know what a piece of paper with a signature is: a contract. Something that can be renegotiated at any time. Just so happens that the House un-American activities committee is renegotiating the contract this time around. Next time it will be somebody else, but it will always be somebody.
Slim: What are you, some kind of Astronaut?
Jimmy: No, I'm some kind of bubble boy.
Narrator: Life is like the foam of the sea. You must dive into it.
Sharon Pogue: Then I realised that it doesn't have to be perfect. I mean, it can be whatever it is.
Leroy: Kevlar is for pussies.
Wayne: So, Coach, how's your parole coming?
Coach Norton: Not good. The victim's whiny family keeps complaining.
J.D.: God! What is their problem?
Jonathan: You are a strange and interesting woman.
Odin: Where is my scarf?
Desi: I don't know.
Odin: You lost it?
Desi: No, I just misplaced it.
Odin: Does Michael know where my scarf is?
Desi: What? If you're asking me if I'm cheating on you, get some balls and ask! Michael? You're the only person I've ever been with and you're the only person I want to be with! And if you want to be with me you never talk to me like that again, ever.
Nadia: My name is Sophia.
John: Sophia. Hello, Sophia. Mine's still John.
Nadia: Hello, John.
Goli: Will our dream ever come true? No, Bhuvan. It hurts too much to dream like that.
Bhuvan: Have faith, Goli. He who has truth and courage in his heart shall win in the end.
Sam: I've been using since I was 12! You're also unbelievably stupid, you know that? You didn't give a shit about anything I did up until now.
George: Well, I'll apologize for everything but today! Today I give a shit.
Sara: Nelson do you want to be my November.
Nelson: Yes.
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Ryan: No.
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it.
David: You're a shrink! You gotta be better than that.
Dr. Curtis McCabe: Let's not stereotype each other. Not all rich kids are soulless, and not all psychologists care about dreams.
Petal Bear: It's 8:05. I think I'm gonna fuck you by 10:00.