Joe Dirt: So, you're gonna tell me, that you don't have no black cats, no Roman candles, or screamin' mimis?
Kicking Wing: No.
Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You don't got no lady fingers, buzz bottles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zip-a-dee-do-dahs, crap flappers?
Kicking Wing: No, I don't.
Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a firework stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honker lighters, huskers dus, husker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy dazers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whisking kitty chaser?
Lawrence Musgrove: I've always believed that a portrait captures a person far better than a photograph. It truly takes a human being to really see a human being.
Peter Appleton: I thought this was a democracy.
Leo Kubelsky: The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, they're all just pieces of paper with signatures on them. And you know what a piece of paper with a signature is: a contract. Something that can be renegotiated at any time. Just so happens that the House un-American activities committee is renegotiating the contract this time around. Next time it will be somebody else, but it will always be somebody.
Jerry: I don't know what it takes! I'm new in the fuck you business.
Odin: Where is my scarf?
Desi: I don't know.
Odin: You lost it?
Desi: No, I just misplaced it.
Odin: Does Michael know where my scarf is?
Desi: What? If you're asking me if I'm cheating on you, get some balls and ask! Michael? You're the only person I've ever been with and you're the only person I want to be with! And if you want to be with me you never talk to me like that again, ever.
Nadia: My name is Sophia.
John: Sophia. Hello, Sophia. Mine's still John.
Nadia: Hello, John.
Goli: Will our dream ever come true? No, Bhuvan. It hurts too much to dream like that.
Bhuvan: Have faith, Goli. He who has truth and courage in his heart shall win in the end.
Nelson Moss: Have you ever heard of Phalaenopsis Sunderiana? It reminded me of you.
Sara: You got the job, didn't you?
Nelson Moss: Best offer anyone ever made me.
Sara: So when do you start?
Nelson Moss: We had a little problem agreeing on that. He suggested immediately, I suggested... never.
Sara: Never?
Nelson Moss: Never.
Sam: I've been using since I was 12! You're also unbelievably stupid, you know that? You didn't give a shit about anything I did up until now.
George: Well, I'll apologize for everything but today! Today I give a shit.
Slim: What are you, some kind of Astronaut?
Jimmy: No, I'm some kind of bubble boy.
Narrator: Life is like the foam of the sea. You must dive into it.
Sharon Pogue: Then I realised that it doesn't have to be perfect. I mean, it can be whatever it is.
Wayne: So, Coach, how's your parole coming?
Coach Norton: Not good. The victim's whiny family keeps complaining.
J.D.: God! What is their problem?
Jonathan: You are a strange and interesting woman.
Nicole: I want to be good for you.
Billy: It's women that's shaped like leaves, and men fall.
Jack: I thought I was disconnected from everything, for a long time I'd been leading an unstable, risky life. I'd hung out with all sorts of people, nothing could shock me anymore. I was not impressed by the unexpected, I'd always been able to handle it. That night however, when I saw Claire again, I just fell to pieces. I thought I'd managed to forget her, I'd overcome the pain and remorse which made me want to see her again.
James: Thanks for rescuing me tonight. I never get a chance to do this. I never got to be someone.
Chloe: You already are someone, I mean. Our parents got to be kids. Now it's our turn.