Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.
Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.
Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?
Drix: No.
Hercule Poirot: She is an elderly lady. She has more strength in her will as in her arm.
Nathan Conrad: Does she have a new hiding place that I don't know about?
Aggie Conrad: Probably... she's been running around the house like a wild cat all week.
Alex Cross: To be brutally honest, I think you have a morbid desire to burn in hell.
Uncle Jack: If he's cursing on TV, then, he's tight.
Daryl Chase: How you supposed to run a successful business, you ain't got no Schlitz Malt Liquor! You ain't representin'! You ain't keepin' it real.
Randy: There's the ten-thousand dollars... well, aren't you gonna count it?
Mr. Burmeister: Nah.
Randy: You trust me?
Mr. Burmeister: No, but I kill people.
Chloe: Isn't it fun?
Ricky Slade: What's that, sweetie?
Chloe: Isn't it fun?
Ricky Slade: What's that?
Chloe: Isn't it fun?
Ricky Slade: What fun?
Chloe: Isn't it fun to paint?
Ricky Slade: To paint? Yeah, I love it! Really calms me down. Frogs aren't purple by the way. Have you ever seen a purple frog?
Chloe: Yes.
Ricky Slade: Yeah. Okay, when? When you were asleep?
Emil Slovak: I can kill you - I'm insane.
Reidenschneider: No talking out of school. What's out of school? Everything's out of school. I do the talking. You keep your trap shut. I'm an attorney. You're a barber. You don't know anything.
Jack: I thought I was disconnected from everything, for a long time I'd been leading an unstable, risky life. I'd hung out with all sorts of people, nothing could shock me anymore. I was not impressed by the unexpected, I'd always been able to handle it. That night however, when I saw Claire again, I just fell to pieces. I thought I'd managed to forget her, I'd overcome the pain and remorse which made me want to see her again.
Al: So did you tell her who's boss?
C.W.: Is she kidding, talking to me like that? It's 'cause she thinks she's smarter... you know, 'cause she graduated from Vassar and I went to driving school.
