Osmosis Jones: You're gonna have to talk to my new partner, if he feels like hangin' around a little while.
Drix: But my work visa's expired.
Osmosis Jones: Well, we'll go down to the hemorrhoid and get you a good lawyer.
Dalia: Will that be business or pleasure?
Rudy Cafmeyer: Pleasure, always.
Ed: Teeter Totter Teeter Totter.
Melanie Ballard: Well, introduce us to your friends.
Desolation Williams: These are my compadres, Uno, Dos and Tres.
Melanie Ballard: Uno must be the nice one.
Uno: You got that right, butchy. I'm not as nice as Desolation. And I'll cut your fucking titties off.
Susan: Are you hungry?
Karel Vojtí?ek: Not really... Yes.
Susan: Not really - yes?
Karel Vojtí?ek: I mean yes. Sorry... My English isn't very well. I mean good.
Kate: These people are the dregs, Jack. Not even the governments can control them.
Spike: And you, you take way too long when you're taking a shit.
Emil Slovak: I can kill you - I'm insane.
Maurice 'Momo': We were here in the 80's to watch the Russians. I can't tell you the trouble we made.
Hubert Fiorentini: That's right you can't, now try to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes.
Freddie Tiffany: Man, you really are from the projects. You didn't hit a damn thing.