Walt Price: Would you like a cigar?
Mayor George Bailey: Aren't these illegal?
Walt Price: Why would they be illegal?
Mayor George Bailey: Well, the trade embargo with Cuba.
Walt Price: Nobody tells me anything.
President Kennedy: Well, who the hell authorized this missile test?
Robert Kennedy: Who do you think? God knows what this is gonna communicate to the Soviets.
Kenny O'Donnell: Communicate with the Soviets? We can't communicate with the Pentagon - and it's just across the goddamn river.
Kuki Gallmann: We think we control this place, but this place controls us.
Richie: Get the fuck out of here before I put you in a mayonnaise jar.
Lee Krasner: You're not just randomly putting paint on the canvas, you're painting something. You can't abstract from nothing, you can only abstract from life, from nature.
Jackson Pollock: I am nature.
Peter McGowan: Are you drunk or something?
Larry: What time is it?
Peter McGowan: Four.
Larry: Yep.
Marquis de Sade: Conversation, like certain portions of the anatomy, always runs more smoothly when lubricated.
Pinhead: It's all a puzzle, isn't it, Joseph? Like a game of chess, perhaps. The pieces move, apparently aimlessly, but always towards one single objective: to kill the king. But who is the king in this game, Joseph? That is the question you must ask yourself.
Tigger: You can't bounce the bounce if you can't even pronounce the bounce.
Chopper: Tell me this, right. Why would I shoot a bloke BANG? And then put him in the bloody car and wizz him off to the hospital at a hundred miles an hour? It defeats the purpose of having shot him in the first place.
Sleep'N Eat: Years ago, I married a widow who had a grown up daughter. My daddy visited us often, fell in love, and married her. Thusly, he became my son-in-law and my step-daughter became my mother because she was my father's wife. That's right. After that, my father's wife gave birth to a son who became my brother and my grandchild, because he was the son of my daughter. I ain't jiving! Now, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother because she was my mother's mother. Mantan, I was my wife's husband and grandchild at one and the same time. And lo and behold, as the husband of the person's grandmother is a grandfather, I became my goddamn own grandfather.
Ray Castro: Why are hurricanes named after women? Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Kate: We were instant best friends. Two people who understood each other without having to say a word.
Charlie: So, you're going to dinner with both of them? The girl you like and the girl you slept with?
Oscar: Yeah, my dad's coming too.
Vanessa: I just wanna know where I belong.
Mona Hibbard: You belong in the family box.
Lines on screen: They say it's the last song. They don't know us, you see. It's only the last song if we let it be.
Bree Davis: You see women all day, every day. How do they keep from just runnin' together?
Dr. Sullivan "Sully" Travis, "Dr. T": I think every single woman I've ever met has got somethin' special about her, somethin' that sets her apart from the rest.
Bree Davis: Well, if a gynecologist says there's no two alike, I guess there's no two alike.
Martan Ingram: First of all, it's not a "what", it's a WHO. And he is making a big splash, orca-style.
Jack Morris: You know I.C.? Colored fellow at the service station?
Ellen Morris: Sure.
Jack Morris: His son came back from Europe today.
Ellen Morris: Wonderful.
Jack Morris: In a box.
Bozz: Hey let's not become friends, Jim. You could be dead tomorrow and I'd miss you too much.