Jessie Crossman: People probably told you that Jessie Crossman was the only person skilled enough to jump from a 747.
Pete Nessip: Well, the actual phrase used was "dick brain."
Tom Sanders: Sexual harrassment is about power. When did I have the power? When?
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: What's Russian for 'ass'?
Chris Morrow: Schzopa.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Well, stop blowing smoke up my schzopa.
Hector Martinez: You're talkin' to me about an issue of confidentiality?
Dr. Bill Capa: Similar to the Miranda oath.
Hector Martinez: If a friend of mine got killed and the only thing between the killer and me was Miranda you know what I would do? Huh? I'd fuck Miranda up the ass. But don't tell anybody, because it's a matter of confidentiality.
John Trent: God's not supposed to be a hack horror writer.
Menchu: Well, my philosophy is, if you're gonna get fucked, you might as well lie back and enjoy it.
Antonio: This is not a motel called "Cemetery." This is a cemetery called "Motel."
Pauline Parker: I felt thoroughly depressed and even quite seriously considered committing suicide. Life seemed so much not worth the living and death such an easy way out.
Honorah Parker Rieper: Love, you can still write to each other.
Pauline Parker: Anger against Mother boiled up inside me, as it is she who is one of the main obstacles in my path. Suddenly a means of ridding myself of this obstacle occurred to me. If she were to die.
Ryan Gaerity: I've come here to create a new country for you called chaos, and a new government called anarchy.
Johnny McFarley: Hey Peaches, want some ribs?
Tony Hoyle: Let the law take these guys down. You know, sometimes the law works.
Paul Kersey: And sometimes it doesn't! These people, they steal, they murder, they destroy people's lives and they get away with it! They have alibis, money, lawyers, power. They have everything.
Billy: I stole cars at school. Take them over at break. Leave it parked outside the gates and at the end of the day I was the only kid to drive home. I was a fucking hero.
Lt. Jake Stone: Don't ever throw a cat on me again.
Jack Hammond: That's the question on the minds of all your viewers? Whether I run out of gas or not? Tell you what, Jer. You let your viewers know that I hope Miss Voss' fear and my desperation are entertainment enough for them. After all, that is what this is all about, isn't it? The story. As it breaks. Live. Coming to you from the bad guy himself. I mean we wouldn't want your viewers to change the fucking channel, now, would we?
Big Mike: Hey, Cupcake, what the fuck you think you're looking at?
Forrest Taft: Nothing much at all.