Larry Lipton: Claustrophobia and a dead body - this is a neurotic's jackpot.
Nancy Archer: Missed me?
Harry Archer: I don't suppose you want to hear my side of this?
Laura Jackson: What a stupid idiot.
Jed Clampett: Did you say something, ma'am?
Laura Jackson: What a stupendous intellect.
Jethro: That's cause I "grad-ge-ated" the sixth grade, ma'am. Only took three years.
Max Goldman: If I had known I would be doing a nude scene, I'd have asked for another million.
James Wright: How many Beatles are there?
Kyle Davidson: Three... and Ringo.
Mikey Ubriacco: I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday.
James: I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.
Bonnie: He's not afraid of losing. He's afraid of losing your love. How many ball players grow up afraid of losing their fathers' love every time they come up to the plate?
Fred: All of them.
Bonnie: He knows you disapprove of him. He knows you think he's weak. But he's not weak. He's decent. And if you or Bruce or anyone else tries to beat that out of him, I swear to God I'll take him away.
Michael Chapman: I turned Angela from a pickpocket into a star into a shoplifter.
Doug Ireland: Nothing's impossible Albert. Impossible just takes a couple extra phone calls.
Sister Mary Robert: The only thing the chef knows how to cook is German sausage.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Day after day, liverwurst, bratwurst, beerwurst.
Sister Mary Patrick: It's the "worst."