Nancy Archer: Missed me?
Harry Archer: I don't suppose you want to hear my side of this?
Laura Jackson: What a stupid idiot.
Jed Clampett: Did you say something, ma'am?
Laura Jackson: What a stupendous intellect.
Jethro: That's cause I "grad-ge-ated" the sixth grade, ma'am. Only took three years.
Max Goldman: If I had known I would be doing a nude scene, I'd have asked for another million.
Josh Waitzkin: You've lost, you just don't know it yet.
James Wright: How many Beatles are there?
Kyle Davidson: Three... and Ringo.
Mikey Ubriacco: Stop brushing her, Julie. She already looks like a Q-tip.
Julie Ubriacco: Your dog smells like a diaper.
Mikey Ubriacco: Does not.
Julie Ubriacco: Diaper dog! Diaper dog.
Mikey Ubriacco: Q-tip head dog.
Julie Ubriacco: Stinky dog.
Mikey Ubriacco: Bald-butted dog.
Michael Chapman: I turned Angela from a pickpocket into a star into a shoplifter.
Doug Ireland: Nothing's impossible Albert. Impossible just takes a couple extra phone calls.
Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it.
Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.
Sister Mary Robert: The only thing the chef knows how to cook is German sausage.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Day after day, liverwurst, bratwurst, beerwurst.
Sister Mary Patrick: It's the "worst."