Best comedy movie quotes of 1993

Cliff Murdoch: I just figured out why the Cubs lose every year. They've got more talent in the stands than they do in the field.

Euripides: Yeah, yeah, I'm lickin' your balls, best balls I ever had. Uh-huh, you've got King-Kong balls. Your balls are so large, just big balls, I don't care. You just got big balls.

Matthew Welsh: You cold-blooded murderess.
Hexina: What did you just call me?
Matthew Welsh: Murderess.
Hexina: Oh, I thought you said Methodist. For a moment I was insulted.

Larry Wilson: I was not the one who was out CONGA-DANCING all night, huh.

Johnny: You may not know this, Missy, but I ate Chuck for YOU.
Missy's Friend: God, my boyfriend won't even pump gas for me.

Andrew Sterling: What comes around, goes around.

Harrison Winslow: Who came up with this ridiculous concept anyway? Resolve your entire life in one bold stroke? What if I fail? And I will. I'll fail. I'm telling you. I always fail. Then my whole life will be a complete failure.
Thomas Reilly: No offense, Harrison. But you died a failure because you never tried.

Bob Alexander: What do you think you're doing?
Dave: What? Oh, you mean the press conference. I had a couple of ideas that I wanted to share with the country.
Bob Alexander: Share? Share? You don't call a press conference. I call a press conference. You're nothing. Do you understand? You're nobody.
Dave: I'm not nobody.
Bob Alexander: You're lint! You're a flea! You're a blip.
Dave: Well... maybe I am. But you're fired.

Gene Loomis: Y'know, it's hard to believe you're a grown-up.
Ruth Corday: No kidding.
Lawrence Woolsey: You think grown-ups have it all figured out? That's just a hustle, kid. Grown-ups are making it up as they go along, just like you. You remember that, and you'll do fine.

Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: Oh, cute baby! Boy or girl?
Jeff Blue: Gosh, I hope so.

Hal Jackson: Do you mind if I smoke in here?
Sarah Mathews: Yes, I do mind.
Zora: Ma, this is his office.
Sarah Mathews: I don't care, this is my lungs, he can get himself killed.

Friar Francis: Come, lady: die to live.

The Eternal Flame: Fire in the hole.

Sherri Shepard: Wouldn't it be a trip if Alex Trebek bought a nude painting of me?

DR. JARRET: We're not talking man's best friend here.

Joe Donan: There's more to life than just passing the time, isn't there, Diane?
Diane: Maybe we're just both running around in circles, and just happen to touch. The sun and the moon do that. They call it an eclipse.

Johnny: I wanna join the Army.
Aunt Bella: The Army? Our Army?
Johnny: Yeah! But they wouldn't take me. I couldn't pass the, the - hatever they give you I couldn't pass.

Devon: No wonder dinosaurs are extinct: big heads, small brains.

Giddy: ...did you know it could be dangerous to wake somebody up when they're dreaming, well, because you leave part of your brain behind. And if it happens too many times, you go feeble in the head.
Sheela: Yeah. You're living proof.

Cole Parker: I want you to press the ignition button. You got me?
Dani Servigo: Ignition?
Cole Parker: Ignition. Yeah. Shit. He can't read. I tell you what you do. Hold up that first finger. Tell me what you see.
Dani Servigo: A finger.
Cole Parker: No, it looks like an "I." That's the first letter in "ignition."