Best comedy movie quotes of 1990

David Ackerman: You fucking lied to Garcia.
Nick Pulovski: I didn't lie to him. I just didn't tell him the truth.

Phoebe O'Hara: Not so tough without your car, are ya?

Loomis: You aren't going to hit me again are you?
Grimm: I haven't hit anybody since I was nine.
Loomis: Yeah, but it was me you hit.

Rachel Flax: One thing you can rely on about your father: He can't be relied on.

Carmine Sabatini: I'm getting too old for this nonsense.

Marcelles Santos: You want me to shoot Sailor... in the brains... with a gun?
Marietta Fortune: Yes.
Marcelles Santos: In the forehead?
Marietta Fortune: Yes.
Marcelles Santos: Wrong. It's always better to blow a hole through the back of the head, right through to the bridge of the nose. Lots of irreparable brain damage.

Christian: I'm tired of being my own rival.

Marvin Libner: Work, huh, responsibility. Don't these words mean anything to you?
Robert 'Bobby' Libner: Duh.

Greg Samson: Let me add that if I catch the kidnapper of my poor son, I'll offer him Christian forgiveness. Then I'll skin his honkers and use 'em for shammy cloths.

Suzanne Vale: Instant gratification takes too long.

Kari: I'll bet you my thongs.
Finn: OK, I'll bet you my underwear and raise you a truth or dare.
Kari: What? You can't bet a truth or dare!
Finn: Just because I ran out of clothes doesn't mean I can't still bet.

Charles Drucker: Harris. Say something honest, no holds barred. GO.
Harris: I like... small boys.
Charles Drucker: About the product, you fucking idiot.

Rosalie Boca: We didn't do it. I swear to God we didn't. We found him outside, on the lawn.
Devo Nod: ...Right outside.
Rosalie Boca: ...He was lying there, someone had shot him, and thrown him on the lawn.
Nadja: Yeah, it was a mess.
Rosalie Boca: ...It was terrible. So we brought him inside and we... we put him in bed... and... yep... It must have been the Mafia.
Lt. Larry Schooner: Mafia?
Devo Nod: The Mafia.
Nadja: Yeah. Joey was Italian.
Rosalie Boca: He is Italian.
Devo Nod: He is Italian.

Graham Marshall: My father had it all figured out. He was a London bus driver. And when I was a boy, he used to take me over the river to Mayfair, where the rich people lived. And he used to say to me, "Son - there is no heaven. Here is the closest you will ever get. Life, here, is sweet. Life, back over there, is hard. So live over here, son!"

George Jetson: Jane! Get me off this crazy thing.

Muse: Yeah, I know Professor Davis. He's trying to get you into the sack.
Alice: No.
Muse: Yeah, it's the main reason he teaches: female pupils.
Alice: No, he's, he's very deep! He's not like that.
Muse: Yeah, 'very deep' is exactly where he wants to put it.

Huey Walker: You know, Buckner, if it hadn't've been for you, I'd be in a warm cell right now.
John Buckner: Yeah, being beaten by a nice, warm, rubber hose.