Buddy Revell: You know what Mitchell? You're the biggest pussy I've ever seen in my life. Didn't even try. How does that feel?
Patty Winston: He hit me daddy! And then he kicked me in my hiney.
Chris Lecce: Problem?
Ronald Miller: Nerds, jocks. My side, your side. It's all bullshit. Its hard enough just trying to be yourself.
Chainsaw: We just got lapped by an old lady in a walker.
Paul Moore: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room.
Jane Craig: No. It's awful.
Mrs. Biddle: This man out of absolutely nowhere, this man appeared. Heh! So charming. Not really handsome, but... riveting. Yes, that's the word. I was riveted. I was looking into his eyes, and I found myself thinking thoughts I hadn't entertained since World War II. I think I actually... blushed.
Patrick Morenski: Okay, on one end of the spectrum you've got homo, and on the other you've got hetero. Then there's me, way the fuck over here.
Duncan: We're gonna bring this party up to a nice respectable level. Don't worry, we're not gonna hurt anyone. We're not even gonna touch 'em. We're just gonna make 'em cry a little, just by lookin' at 'em.
J.C. Wiatt: I can't have a baby because I have a 12:30 lunch meeting.
Gramps: Don't call me sir! I ain't no politician.
S.W.A.T Team Man: Freeze! Move out! Drop it.
Civilian: Are you crazy? Do you know how much I paid for this gun?
Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake: There is a distinct difference between killing someone and fucking them.
Jack Citron: You know this movie's about pop culture? In the 60s, Andy Warhol showed us how Pop could be high art. That everything is high art. That's what this is all about. For example, in your first scene you'll be gang raped by four monsters.
Foul Phil - Suit: My tummy hurts.
Greaser Greg - Suit: What did you eat?
Foul Phil - Suit: Everything.
Greaser Greg - Suit: That makes sense.
Lynda Mansell: Up your bum.
George Jetson: That's grass. I read about it in ancient history.
Chris Hammond: How can she stand to be so close to her own body without constantly feeling herself up?