Eddie Jillette: I know the secret to Heaven.
Joe Collins: Oh, yeah, what's that?
Eddie Jillette: A girl with freckles on her tits.
Tommy Hook: That wild Indian picture happens to be stylin', you don't know what you're talkin' about.
Megatron: Prime!
Optimus Prime: One shall stand, one shall fall!
Harry: I must have thought I was falling in love. What an asshole.
Hank Mitchell: Where's our Heart Lady?
Dr. Andrew Ingersoll: Well, she is still with her patient.
Hank Mitchell: What? Three days, man? Doesn't she need sleep?
Dr. Benson Hughes: I believe her words were, You don't need me, you've got Indiana Jones.
Lipton: I've really admired your stuff since 'Vermin From Venus.'.
Rollie Tyler: You saw that?
Lipton: Yeah.
Andy: That's the one that got him deported from Australia.
Ivan: So it is you, son, is it not?
Jason Stillwell: But this time it will be different. Russian.
High Priest: Who gave you the courage to be killed here?
Asian Hawk: I obey my god's every command. He looks after all my needs. I always say yes to him. Never no.
High Priest: Who is your god? What is your religion?
Asian Hawk: I believe in a powerful religion. The name of my god is... money.
High Priest: Prepare to be sacrified to your money god.
Mitch: The park is mine.
Maggie Cavanaugh: Just remember, when you pull the trigger, the bullets come out going very, very fast. So make sure to keep the weapon pointing away from you. Now that's about it. You are now armed... guards. God help us all.
Martin McNamara: Confucius say: when fighting truckers, nail the suckers.
Jim Halsey: Why are you doing this to me?
John Ryder: You're a smart kid... figure it out.
Arabella McGee: You're welcome, dildo-nose.