[All ammunition has been confiscated.]
Marine: What are we supposed to use? Harsh language?.
Jack Burton: Hey, I'm a reasonable guy. But I've just experienced some very unreasonable things.
Chandler Jarrell: I don't know, maybe he cut himself shaving and bled to death looking for a kleenex.
Marion Cobretti: You're a disease, and I'm the cure.
Remy McSwain: If I can't have you, can I have my gator?
Sheriff Loomis: You listen to me, you son-of-a-bitch! There's a kid out there usin' his car to kill people, not that it's such a big deal since it seems to be your gang he's got it in for... so, if you guys try to take the law into your own hands, and that killer turns up dead, I'm gonna see you all sniffin' cyanide in the Arizona gas chamber.
Phil: Get out of there! Duck!
Howard: And proud of it.
Chozen: You insult my honor again, I'll kill you.
Nick Alexander: Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful legs?
Bartender: Oh, Nick! You can't see them from here.
Nick Alexander: No, but I do have a good imagination. Well, actually I'm just trying to be nice.
Gunnery Seargant Thomas Highway: The United States Marines is lookin' for a few good men - and you ain't it.
Connor MacLeod: I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.
Brett: If you don't get your hand off my leg, you're going to be wiping your ass with a hook next time you take a dump.
Camp Loman: I never heard no talk like that when I was a boy.
Tommy: I went to go cremate Jason but I fucked up.
Deputy Rick: You got that right.
Dr. Henry Fynn: It would appear that Sommerset was right, wouldn't it? It all comes down to blowing their heads off.
Patricia: Fruitcake? fruitcake? Listen Bucko, I happen to be a highly educated, intelligent girl with an I.Q. that would put you pea-brain in the cellar. So remember, If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be here. Call me for dinner.
Knotcher: Good morning, boys and girls, I have an announcement. One of special interest to you military personnel. Little Dougie Masters has regretfully been denied admission to the Air Force Academy. Too bad. [Laughs] He would have looked cute in his little uniform and haircut, marching around with with the other fairies. [Notices a highly irate Doug standing outside the microphone room] What's the matter, flybaby?
Terry: This is great. I'm down on the docks at 1:30 in the morning. I might as well pin a hundred dollar bill to my ass and scream "Victim here! Victim here!"
Mark Kaminsky: Because of you a lot of people are dead. And now it's your turn.