Sam Lowry: Are you all right?
Jill Layton: Yeah.
Sam Lowry: Well, you don't deserve to be.
Monty Brewster: Why is it when there's trouble we're the ones that get into it. I mean, there's a bar full of people and we're the only ones in jail.
Spike Nolan: I don't think it's racial you know, because I'm in here with you.
Monty Brewster: That's comforting.
Julie: Hey Paul, do you like my hairdo?
Paul Hackett: Yes... yes, I do.
Julie: Then why don't you touch it?
Shirley: Oh, thank you, Baba Rama Nana!
Sheila: My mother was kind of middle-aged and frumpy.
Diana: Whose isn't?
Sheila: At fourteen she was middle-aged and frumpy.
Cooper: Hulse, I want you to put a special mike on him tonight, one that isolates everything he plays from the rest of the orchestra. Carson, you link it into the gblx 1000 computer.
Maddy: The gblx?
Cooper: Yeah. That thing'll break any code.
Maddy: But that's in control of our entire missile defense system.
Cooper: Honey, will you please - what are the odds of the Russians attacking on a Thursday night?
Jonathan: You're right, I'm on drugs. I'm a junkie, you know, I mainline, I freebase, I put cocaine on my cornflakes.
Bobby: I got it covered.
Tom Baxter: It's so impulsive, but... I'll come. Why not? What's life without a little risk taking? Who knows?
Dogati: No more Wagner.
Jack Issel: Exactly what is our side of the Allenville story?
Max Landsberger: Were losing money hand over fist.
Jack Issel: That's not true.
Max Landsberger: No, but it's our side of the story. Lesson No.55: there are no truths, only stories.
Clark Griswold: There's Buckingham Palace, kids. That's where the Queen lives and works.
Audrey Griswold: Works? What does she do, Dad?
Clark Griswold: She queens... and vacuums.
David 'Mo' Rutherford: OK, lethal hands, kill the door.
'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs: Watch out for splinters.
Sally Ann: Polly got in one good peck before that cat killed her. Good for Polly.
Hugh: I certainly never realised that Polly had such a big pecker.