Charley Partanna: Do I ice her? Do I marry her?
Cecil Vyse: I have no profession. My attitude - quite an indefensible one - is that as long as I am no trouble to anyone, I have the right to do as I like. It is, I dare say, an example of my decadence.
Jack: Get the hell out of here now.
Fat Man: You get out of here fella. I'm trying to watch the Smurfs.
Jack: You're trying to watch the Smurfs?
Fat Man: Yeah.
Jack: Did you see the one where Papa Smurf took a crutch and smashed the shit out of a guy with a red hat? Did you see that one? You want to see that one? (Fat Man runs away).
Vince Latello: Son of a bitch, whaddaya call this wawa?
Sherman: I believe you'd call him a Neanderthal man.
Vince Latello: Well I don't care what country he's from! One shot to the chones an' he's down.
Caesar: I will reason with him, I'll appeal to his better nature.
Rooney: Oh, you're gonne reason with a grown man in a dress?
Clark Griswold: There's Buckingham Palace, kids. That's where the Queen lives and works.
Audrey Griswold: Works? What does she do, Dad?
Clark Griswold: She queens... and vacuums.
Bobby: I got it covered.
Sally Ann: Polly got in one good peck before that cat killed her. Good for Polly.
Hugh: I certainly never realised that Polly had such a big pecker.
David Howard: Shut up Brad! Your song stunk, I hate your suit and I could hurt you.
Emma: You're gonna get a champion roll in the hay.
Tom Baxter: What, there's hay in the bedroom?
Alison Bradbury: Spontaneity has its time and place.
Don King: Mr. Chairman, we are a company on the move. I have two mega stocks and a super promotional idea that can bring INC from $500 million, to $1 billion in gross revenue. That is not about white power, nor is it about black power. It's about green power! Money! M-O-N-E-Y! We're talking about geometric progression. One... four... eight... 16... the numbers boggle the mind! So in conclusion, all we have to do is to get off the dime, and put this show on the road. Thank you very much.
Charley Pegler: Upon watching his infield screw up a simple three-base toss during practice: "Great! That's great! Tinker to Evers to Shit!"
Tampopo: What about your wife?
Gorô: She left with the kids.
Tampopo: Why?
Gorô: I don't know. I grew up in a miserable family, so I wanted to make my own home the warmest there was. I got married. We had kids. And we had a warm home. But I never felt comfortable there. I don't know how to act in a happy home. Before I knew it, my wife was gone... Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted guy.
Blossom: I'm Blossom. Why do they call you Meat?
Meat Tuperello: Why do they call you Blossom?
Harry Tuttle: My good friends call me Harry.
Paul Hackett: You have a great body.
Kiki: Yes. Not a lot of scars.
Liza Chamberlain: Cody, do you cook?
Cody Abilene: Not much.
Liza Chamberlain: Well, what do you usually make for dinner?
Cody Abilene: Reservations.