Humphrey: Oh, no, do share your little joke with the rest of the class.
Butler: You and your wife are expected for dinner.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: My wife won't be coming.
Butler: Oh, I trust she is not ill?
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: She's not ill, she's a cheap, vulgar slut.
Butler: Ja, I have heard this.
John Bourgignon: 'Scuse me, I'm looking for a guy named Skipper.
Skipper: I'm a guy named Skipper.
Wendy: Hey waiter! Put shit-face's drink here on Commissioner Gebhart's bill! For piss-sake he's up for re-election next week, you think he needs this shit?
Countess Chandra: Darling?
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes, my darling?
Countess Chandra: You're smoking the wrong end.
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes... I knew that. You don't have to tell me I am smoking zhe wrong end. Do you know why I am smoking zhe wrong end?
Countess Chandra: No darling, but I'm sure you've got a very good reason.
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: You're right! I am smoking on zhe wrong end, because I have a very good reason.
Salvatore Licuti: Let me remind you! This organization is like a... like a house. I'm a brick, he's a brick, and you're a brick. Remove one brick, one brick... the house falls down.