Col. Lewis Pugh: I want everyone here to smell like a distillery.
Henry Brubaker: What happened? What happened to your eye?
Abraham Cook: Oh, got hit.
Henry Brubaker: With what?
Abraham Cook: With a baseball bat, a trace chain, and a rope with knots in it.
Lola Brewster: Chin up, darling... both of them.
Lazlo: Like a lot of people thought I was dead but, uh... hey you know you don't write any postcards when you're on the road to self-discovery.
Orville Boggs: Philo... Jordan said he'd give us 200 big ones if we scrap that Merc for him.
Philo Beddoe: Great. Clyde? Scrap the Merc.
Orville Boggs: Come on, Clyde! You got work to do.
Scott Larson: My brother doesn't know I exist, he didn't even remember my birthday.
Laura - Yellow Team: When's your birthday?
Scott Larson: Today.
Peregrin 'Pippin' Took: Fine time to fall asleep.
Bilbo Baggins: Who's asleep? Just resting my eyes.
Mayor: And if they traced it back to the company.
Slade: You'd be out of a job, for one thing.
Liz Blake: Do you want to fuck me?
Doctor Robert Elliott: Oh, yes.
Liz Blake: Then why don't you?
Doctor Robert Elliott: Because I'm a doctor and.
Liz Blake: Fucked a lot of doctors.
Doctor Robert Elliott: ...and I'm married.
Liz Blake: Fucked a lot of them, too.
Griff: Hey did you ever figure out what those palm trees are doing way over here in Belgium?
Zab: Yeah, that monk had a yen for 'em.
Sean Boyd: Hey, listen! You've picked the wrong kid.
Harry Monroe: Yea, that's right! That's right! We bad.
Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: I should have gotten a handle on it somehow.
Conrad "Con" Jarrett: You know I used to think you had a handle for everything. I really admire you for that sometimes.
Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: Well, don't admire people too much. They'll disappoint you sometimes.
Conrad "Con" Jarrett: I'm not disappointed. I love you.
Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: I love you too.