Melissa: Well I think I've had just about enough of this, thank you very much. I'll think I'll take my things and GET OUT. If you'll pull over to the side, I'm sure I can hitch a ride very easily... Weren't you listening to me? I said I'm ready to get out.
Rubber Duck: You want out? We're being chased. You want out? Jump.
Melissa: You want to add the Mann Act to your collection?
Rubber Duck: Mann Act's for 18 year olds, not someone who's seen the better side of thirty.
Marv Gomez: Dancing. Everything else is bullshit.
Lou Peckinpaugh: You mean you married your own father?
Mrs. Montenegro: It's not like you think. It was a simple wedding, done very tastefully.
Lou Peckinpaugh: I'm sure it was. If you could just give me his name.
Mrs. Montenegro: Vladimir Tserijemiwtz.
Lou Peckinpaugh: Vladimir Tserijemiwtz. How do you spell that?
Mrs. Montenegro: I'm not sure. Well, we were never that close.
Eric Manchester, Rutle Corp. Press Agent: Suddenly, everyone became amazingly litigious. I remember I'd get up in the morning. Sue someone. Check in the papers that I hadn't been fired. Go to the office. Sue someone. Pick up the morning's writs. Sue the bank. Go out for lunch. Sue the restaurant. Get back in, collect the writs that had been received that afternoon. Read the papers. Phone the papers. Sue the papers. Then go home. Sue the wife.
Jake - voice: My name is Zunar J 5 Slash 9 Doric 4 7.
Frank: Uh, Z-Zunar.
Jake - voice: ...Let's just stick with 'Jake', okay?
Emile Prevert: Why me? You could have Tom, Dick or Harry.
Emmannuelle Prevert: I don't want Tom or Harry.
Simone Legree: But I saw your funeral on TV.
Clouseau: Yes, even the Poop was there, you know?
Tony Carlson: I think we got off on the wrong foot.
Gloria Mundy: Yes, and it seems to be in your mouth.
Tony Carlson: OK, I deserve that. Listen, it's Gloria, right? You're a really nice girl and I'm a nice guy, and you're very pretty with or without cleavage, and what do you say... would you like to take a shower?
Gloria Mundy: I don't pick up strange men.
Tony Carlson: Well, that's your problem.
Gloria Mundy: So why don't you try it?
Sidney Cochran: One day when you're an antique I shall vote for you. I promise.