
Melissa: Why do they call you the Duck?
Rubber Duck: Because it rhymes with "luck." See, my daddy always told me to be just like a duck. Stay smooth on the surface and paddle like the devil underneath.

Marv Gomez: Dancing. Everything else is bullshit.

Cholla: You Philo Beddoe?
Philo Beddoe: Do I know you?
Cholla: You're gonna.

Doctor Watson: Where and at what time does the train leave for Baskerville?
Dr. Mortimer: Tomorrow, 12 o'clock, Victoria.
Doctor Watson: Oh no, you can call me John.

Tony Carlson: What do you say to a bottle of wine and a couple of steaks?
Gloria Mundy: Well, you could start by saying, "Hello."

Joe Pendleton: We don't care how much it costs, just how much it makes. If it costs too much, we charge a penny more. Would you pay a penny to save a fish who thinks?

Lou Peckinpaugh: I'm using rented bullets for my gun. We all got problems.

Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: 'Scuse me, uh, seventeen miles an hour?
Tico: Fifteen.
Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: On the in'erstate. What are ya doin', lookin' for a contact lens?
Tico: You patties crack me up. Still doin' your speed number, huh?
Kenneth W. Dantley, Jr.: Well what are you into, miles per gallon?
Tico: Class...we're into class.

Archie Macaw, Record Producer: Well, one day this rather odd chap hopped into the office. He'd been to see virtually everyone in the business and been shown the door. He asked to see MY door, but I wouldn't show it to him. Instead, he showed me the photographs and tapes of the Rutles. They were pretty rough, but they had something.
Narrator: What was it?
Archie Macaw, Record Producer: I think it was the trousers.

Maggie McKeown: That guard is still out there.
Paul Grogan: Fine, I need you to distract him.
Maggie McKeown: What for?
Paul Grogan: So I can get away.
Maggie McKeown: So you can get away? What about me?
Paul Grogan: Well suit yourself. Just come onto him, tell him what an admirer you are of Army or something like that.
Maggie McKeown: What if he's gay?
Paul Grogan: Then I'll go and distract him.