Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.
Perry White: I want the name of this flying whatchamacallit to go with the Daily Planet like bacon and eggs, franks and beans, death and taxes, politics and corruption.
Melissa: Well I think I've had just about enough of this, thank you very much. I'll think I'll take my things and GET OUT. If you'll pull over to the side, I'm sure I can hitch a ride very easily... Weren't you listening to me? I said I'm ready to get out.
Rubber Duck: You want out? We're being chased. You want out? Jump.
Melissa: You want to add the Mann Act to your collection?
Rubber Duck: Mann Act's for 18 year olds, not someone who's seen the better side of thirty.
Marv Gomez: Dancing. Everything else is bullshit.
Mary Ann: He didn't mean any harm, Skipper.
Skipper: Neither did the iceberg that sunk the Titanic.
Sgt. Stedenko: The only kind of meat a priest could eat on Friday was nun.
General: You'd better bring a coat Mr. Richardson, there's a little Jap in the air.
Dr. Morrison: He means nip.
Jake - voice: My name is Zunar J 5 Slash 9 Doric 4 7.
Frank: Uh, Z-Zunar.
Jake - voice: ...Let's just stick with 'Jake', okay?
Emile Prevert: Why me? You could have Tom, Dick or Harry.
Emmannuelle Prevert: I don't want Tom or Harry.
Henry Moon: We was just sayin' how much we needed a figurine.
Grandmaster Pai Cheng-Cheh: What a bitch. I hope she drops dead.
Cholla: You Philo Beddoe?
Philo Beddoe: Do I know you?
Cholla: You're gonna.
Bob Scott: Beware of the dwarf.
Gloria Mundy: Gee Scotty, I don't think there is a dwarf in this movie.
Clouseau: Hey! Mamma Mia! Ho-ho! Spagettino to Al Pacino.
Lou Peckinpaugh: Did you ever stop to worry that I might have killed myself over you?
Marlene DuChard: And if you had, it would have been easier than what I went through. Sleeping night after night with a man I didn't really love. Feeling his hands on my skin. Watching me undress. Taking baths and showers with me. Making me wear all sorts of.
Lou Peckinpaugh: All right, I got the picture. I heard it. Let's go on to something new.
Diana Barrie: We should never have come. I never know how to dress in this bloody country. It is so easy to dress in England. You just put on warm clothing.
Mrs. Ada Holmes: Pesticide, my own son guilty of pesticide.
Sherlock Holmes: It's patricide, mother.
Joe Pendleton: We don't care how much it costs, just how much it makes. If it costs too much, we charge a penny more. Would you pay a penny to save a fish who thinks?