King Henry viii: I never married Katherine - England married Spain.
Dr Neuhart: I might find myself buying your pretty little body one day for a guinea or two.
Rocky: You know somethin', Turkey? My old man never got out of the fourth grade. When it came to people, he didn't know his ass from his elbow. You know what he was? He was a faith healer. I used to travel the circuit with him. I was the one he healed. I was the shill to get the crowd set up. "Walk, my boy. When I lay my hand on you, you will walk." You will walk. Sodden old bastard. He thought it was him they believed in, but it was me.
William Simon aka Billy Bright: As long as the world was calling on Billy Bright to make it laugh, Billy Bright would make it laugh.
The Count: The Maldorais line must continue, and God must know where the Americans fit. Americans are brave, and that is why they seem like children. They are young, wild animals, so what can you expect?.. I expect a child.
The Narrator: Food on a chain gang is scarce and not very nourishing. The men get one hot meal a day: a bowl of steam.
Capt. Otto Baumann: Farce! Where are the bombers? Our reinforcements? This is the most important place in Germany, and what do we have to fight with? Old men, riff-raff, the sweepings from the road.
Major Paul Kreuger: And you, Baumann. Will you fight as hard as you talk?
Capt. Otto Baumann: You will find out when we attack.
Professor Richter: I have become the victim of everything that Frankenstein and I ever advocated. My brain is in someone else's body.
Willie Boy: Indian's don't last in prison. They weren't born for it like the whites.
Linus Van Pelt: You look like you've been through shock treatment or something.
Charlie Brown: What's more shocking than having your faults projected on a screen?
Hercules: Ha, ha, ha. You have strucked Hercules.
Agnes: If sex were the only thing that really mattered, the whole world would be run by rabbits.
Brenda Patimkin: Look, I'm not gonna take the pills, and that's the end of it. In the first place, you don't just take the pills: you have to start taking them at a specific time.
Neil Klugman: You get a diaphragm.
Clem: It's funny to think, though... With no air out there nobody can just open up a window.
Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food?
Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back.
Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it's free. You don't have to steal it.
Ratso Rizzo: Well, if it's free, then I ain't stealin'.
Frederick Carver: Ahh this is the new kidney case.
Dr. Ernest Stoppidge: Yes Mr Bean.
Frederick Carver: Ahh, Kidney Bean.
Station-keeper: See'd your dust all day. What you drivin'? Buffalo?
Col. John Henry Thomas: Stage arrived yet?
Station-keeper: It's overdue. I ain't askin' cause I don't care, but if your name's Thomas there's a couple of poppinjays waitin' inside ta see ya. They been here for two days now. I give 'em water the first day and they've took'n root.
Col. John Henry Thomas: Government agents?
Station-keeper: I ain't asked. They ain't said.