Capt. Otto Baumann: Farce! Where are the bombers? Our reinforcements? This is the most important place in Germany, and what do we have to fight with? Old men, riff-raff, the sweepings from the road.
Major Paul Kreuger: And you, Baumann. Will you fight as hard as you talk?
Capt. Otto Baumann: You will find out when we attack.
Professor Richter: I have become the victim of everything that Frankenstein and I ever advocated. My brain is in someone else's body.
Willie Boy: Indian's don't last in prison. They weren't born for it like the whites.
Linus Van Pelt: You look like you've been through shock treatment or something.
Charlie Brown: What's more shocking than having your faults projected on a screen?
Hercules: Ha, ha, ha. You have strucked Hercules.
Agnes: If sex were the only thing that really mattered, the whole world would be run by rabbits.
Brenda Patimkin: Look, I'm not gonna take the pills, and that's the end of it. In the first place, you don't just take the pills: you have to start taking them at a specific time.
Neil Klugman: You get a diaphragm.
Clem: It's funny to think, though... With no air out there nobody can just open up a window.
Ratso Rizzo: You know, in my own place, my name ain't Ratso. I mean, it just so happens that in my own place my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo.
Joe Buck: Well, I can't say all that.
Ratso Rizzo: Rico, then.
Station-keeper: See'd your dust all day. What you drivin'? Buffalo?
Col. John Henry Thomas: Stage arrived yet?
Station-keeper: It's overdue. I ain't askin' cause I don't care, but if your name's Thomas there's a couple of poppinjays waitin' inside ta see ya. They been here for two days now. I give 'em water the first day and they've took'n root.
Col. John Henry Thomas: Government agents?
Station-keeper: I ain't asked. They ain't said.
Dr. Julian Winston: Hey, did you see that? He just kissed her on the neck.
Toni Simmons: Hmph! She sure likes a lot of action.
Dr. Julian Winston: Yes, she does, doesn't she.
Toni Simmons: Right now, she's surrounded by her husband, her ex-boyfriend, her current boyfriend and maybe her future boyfriend.
Dr. Julian Winston: If somebody doesn't stop that guy, he's gonna make love to her right in the middle of the floor.
Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig: Grant us victory, O Lord, before the Americans get here.
Anne: Won't you kiss your daughter?
King Henry viii: I will kiss her when she's older - and when she has a brother.
Ellen Moore: I feel wonderful Mr Carver, I had no idea having one's appendix out could be so exhilarating. I feel ten years younger.
Frederick Carver: Splendid! Splendid.
Ellen Moore: Be honest now. Do I really look like a woman of forty?
Frederick Carver: You really feel as young as that?
Ellen Moore: No, that's what I am.
Dr Neuhart: I might find myself buying your pretty little body one day for a guinea or two.
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