Paul Serone: They strike, wrap around you. Hold you tighter than your true love. And you get the privilege, of hearing your bones break before the power of embrace causes your veins to explode.
Vice President Becker: I don't accept that abandoning half of the country is necessary!
Tom Gomez: Maybe if you'd listened to him sooner, it wouldn't be.
Vice President Becker: Bullshit! It's easy for him to suggest this plan. He's safely here in Washington.
Tom Gomez: His son is in Manhattan. I just thought you should know that before you start questioning his motives.
Gurgle: Oh, the human mouth is a disgusting place.
Kar: So, I figured it out, why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan so be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.
Bernard: Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up.
Man With No Name: The way I figure, there's really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.
Uber-Morlock: You built your time machine because of Emma's death. If she had lived, it would never have existed. So how could you use your machine to go back to save her?
Butch: Man, I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals.
Melody: I didn't get your name.
Lightfoot: Well, I didn't give it to ya'. My name is Lightfoot.
Melody: "Lightfoot"?
Lightfoot: That's right.
Melody: That's a dumb name. I mean, what kind of person would name a kid that, ya' know?
Lightfoot: What's your name?
Melody: Melody.
Lightfoot: "Melody"? That's not a dumb name?.. Hey, maybe we had the same father?
Mexican girl: Which one do you like?
Carmen: I like the one that's not so smart.
Mexican girl: Which one is that?
Roland Tembo: The Rex just fed, so he won't be hunting for a while.
Ian Malcolm: Just fed? I assume you're talking about Eddie? You might show a little more respect, the man saved our lives by giving his.
Roland Tembo: Then his problems are over. My point is, predators don't hunt when they're not hungry.
Nick Van Owen: Yeah, only humans do.
Roland Tembo: Oh, you're breaking my heart. Come on! Saddle up, let's get this moveable feast under way!
Bethany: I don't want this, it's too big.
Metatron: That's what Jesus said. Yes, I had to tell him. And you can imagine how that hurt the Father - not to be able to tell the Son Himself because one word from His lips would destroy the boy's frail human form? So I was forced to deliver the news to a scared child who wanted nothing more than to play with other children. I had to tell this little boy that He was God's only Son, and that it meant a life of persecution and eventual crucifixion at the hands of the very people He came to enlighten and redeem. He begged me to take it back, as if I could. He begged me to make it all not true. And I'll let you in on something, Bethany, this is something I've never told anyone before... If I had the power, I would have.
Captain Ron: Hey! Uh, leg feels a lot better now, boss. I always been a fast healer, you know. 'Course I believe in Jesus, so that helps.
Abraham Lincoln: Fourscore and...[looks at his pocket watch]...seven minutes ago... We, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill...and Ted. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my time, just as it's true today. Be excellent to each other. And... Party on, dudes!
Hospitaler: I put no stock in religion. By the word "religion" I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the 'Will of God.' Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What God desires is here [points to head], and here [points to heart], and by what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man. Or not.
Maggie McGlone: If my muscles hurt, it just means I've used them. If it hurts to walk up the stairs, it's just cause I've done it a hundred times to lay down next to a man who loved me. My face may have wrinkles, but I have laid under hundreds of skies on sunny days. I look like this, well, because I drank and I smoked and I lived and I loved and I screwed my way through a pretty damn good life. Getting old isn't bad. It's earned.
James Bond: Martini.
Bar Tender: Shaken or stired?
James Bond: Does it look like I give a damn?