Puss in Boots: Fear me, if you dare!
Bernard: Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up.
Bethany: I don't want this, it's too big.
Metatron: That's what Jesus said. Yes, I had to tell him. And you can imagine how that hurt the Father - not to be able to tell the Son Himself because one word from His lips would destroy the boy's frail human form? So I was forced to deliver the news to a scared child who wanted nothing more than to play with other children. I had to tell this little boy that He was God's only Son, and that it meant a life of persecution and eventual crucifixion at the hands of the very people He came to enlighten and redeem. He begged me to take it back, as if I could. He begged me to make it all not true. And I'll let you in on something, Bethany, this is something I've never told anyone before... If I had the power, I would have.
Uber-Morlock: You built your time machine because of Emma's death. If she had lived, it would never have existed. So how could you use your machine to go back to save her?
Gurgle: Oh, the human mouth is a disgusting place.
Maya: Arf arf arf arf.
Max: Arf Arf.
Susan Pevensie: Lucy thinks she's found a magical land...
Professor Kirke: Hmmm.
Susan Pevensie: In the upstairs wardrobe.
Professor Kirke: What? What did you say?
Peter Pevensie: Our sister... She thinks she's found a wood...
Professor Kirke: What was it like?
Susan Pevensie: Like talking to a lunatic...
Professor Kirke: No, no, not her, the wood!
Susan Pevensie: You don't mean you believe her?
Professor Kirke: And you don't?
Jack Bruno: Don't go in the pimped out fridge Jack.
Abraham Lincoln: Fourscore and...[looks at his pocket watch]...seven minutes ago... We, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill...and Ted. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my time, just as it's true today. Be excellent to each other. And... Party on, dudes!
Natalie Certain: Storm's chances of winning are 95.2%.
Carla: Since when did every woman in America need completely hairless vaginas on Christmas?
David Rice: Who are these people?
Griffin: Paladins. Paladins kill jumpers. I kill paladins. Class dismissed.
Coyle: Hey, Baxley! If your mom's vagina were a video game, it'd be rated E for everyone.
James Bond: Martini.
Bar Tender: Shaken or stired?
James Bond: Does it look like I give a damn?
Maggie McGlone: If my muscles hurt, it just means I've used them. If it hurts to walk up the stairs, it's just cause I've done it a hundred times to lay down next to a man who loved me. My face may have wrinkles, but I have laid under hundreds of skies on sunny days. I look like this, well, because I drank and I smoked and I lived and I loved and I screwed my way through a pretty damn good life. Getting old isn't bad. It's earned.
Ben Gates: Before the Civil War, the states were all separate. People used to say "the United States are..." It wasn't until the war ended that people started saying "the United States is..." Under Lincoln, we became one nation.
James Bond: Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger?
Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!