Charlie Kelly: But I am who I am.
Mac: Yeah, but let's pretend you aren't who you are and just try to attract a woman.
Mac: I think you should bang Gail the Snail.
Frank Reynolds: My neice?
Mac: Yeah.
Frank Reynolds: Gail the Snail?
Mac: Dude, what's more depraved than that, huh? She's not blood related so it's not that weird.
Charlie Kelly: When was the last time we played Night Crawlers together, Frank?
Dennis Reynolds: Uhh. What's-what's that?
Charlie Kelly: Well, it's... not about you. Why don't you just write it down?
Gladys: What's happening?
Dennis Reynolds: What's happening, Gladys, is we're at the fair and you're gonna act like my grandma, okay?
Gladys: My grandmother had an affair with Susan B. Anthony.
Dennis Reynolds: I-I don't give a shit.
Charlie Kelly: Good morning, juarez family.
Charlie Kelly: Mac, can an asshole rip in half?
Mac: Like tissue paper.
Charlie Kelly: What are you gonna do, hit him? No, that's a terrible idea, I'll tell you why: it doesn't unbang your mom.
