Tracy Jordan: What did I tell you was the secret to having a good marriage and keeping it together, Kenneth?
Kenneth Parcell: Be a good listener, a giver of gifts and work that va-jay-jay.
Jenna Maroney: Do you need a sex tape release? Because I've got a weird one. It's night vision and his buddy is robbing me.
Tracy Jordan: I love this cornbread so much I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.
Jenna Maroney: The Kids Choice Awards? Fine, I'll set aside my feud with Raven-Symone for one day... but she knows what she did.
Liz Lemon: You wanna party? It's $500 for kissing and $10,000 for snuggling. End of list.
Tracy Jordan: I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi.
Jack: Factories provide three things this country desperately needs: jobs, pride, and material for Bruce Springsteen songs.
Tracy Jordan: So what's your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz Lemon: I pretty much do whatever Oprah tells me to do.
Jack: I'm not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness.
Kenneth Parcell: It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain.
Tracy Jordan: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.
Liz Lemon: Shut it down, dealbreaker.
Tracy Jordan: I learned fried chicken at the school of hard knocks.
Dr. Leo Spaceman: If you want the shot... you're going to have to dance for it.
Tracy Jordan: Here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age. Live every week like it's Shark Week.
Jack: Look how Greenzo's testing! They love him in every demographic: colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh, we gotta update these forms.
