ALF (1986)

ALF: Kate, have I ever lied to you?
Kate: Yes. Several times.
ALF: I meant today.

ALF: On Melmac, we have 1st class, 2nd class and ham.

Kate: Where's Lizard taking you?
Lynn: To a science fiction movie. Something about this guy being shrunk and then injected into someone else.
ALF: That's not science fiction. A friend of mine did that once. He took a wrong turn and got stuck in a guy's nose.

Jake Ochmonek: Laura's very curious about her secret admirer, so I was thinking like actually saying something to her.
ALF: Danger, Will Robinson.

ALF: Like my old skeelball coach used to say: "Find something you're not good at, and then don't do it."

ALF: I hate musicals. Out of the blue people burst into songs.
Willie: Hence the term "musical."
ALF: Yeah, but wouldn't it get on your nerves if all of a sudden I started singing : "Hey, Kate, ain't it great? Hey, Willie, you look silly. Hey -"
Willie: It's getting on my nerves.
ALF: So what musical are you going to go see today?
Willie: "Cats."
ALF: Take me, please! Then afterwards, we can go backstage and eat the actors.

ALF: Raining cats? You open the skylight and I'll get the relish.

ALF: How can I read with all this quiet?

ALF: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it's run over by a car, you don't want it.

ALF: I'm on a new diet. I can eat as much of whatever I want.
Lynn: And you lose weight that way?
ALF: You do?

ALF: Melmac was the name of my planet. It's also what it was made out of.

Kate: ALF, you can use the portable TV in the bedroom.
ALF: But it's too small. It makes everyone look like Danny DeVito.

Dorothy: You don't have to make rude noises.
ALF: That's okay. I don't mind.

Willie: Stay away from the window, we've got a very nosy neighbor - Mrs. Ochmonek.
ALF: Ochmonek? Sounds like a typo.

Willie: Well, ALF, while we're gone, I trust you won't be getting into any mischief.
ALF: You do?
Willie: Not really, but we gotta go.

ALF: Once we add sound, color and stick Eddie Murphy in there somewhere, it'll be a smash.

Jake Ochmonek: Why do we have to wear meat at this ceremony anyway?
ALF: 'Cause the high priest on Melmac was also the butcher.

Willie: How long are you gonna keep this up?
ALF: Well, in the words of Porky Pig "tha-tha-tha-tha-That's all folks." Speaking of Porky, do I smell bacon?
Willie: No.
ALF: Well, I'd like to.

ALF: It's the day before Christmas, I've hidden all the eggs.
Willie: ALF, we hide eggs at Easter, not at Christmas.
ALF: Oh, that's right. Christmas is where we carve the pumpkin.

Willie: There's more than one way to skin a cat.
ALF: You've been looking at my recipe book.