Dr. Arthur Harmon: No offense Maudie, but I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole.
Maude Findlay: No offense Arthur, but that's the only way you'd ever touch me.
Maude Findlay: Walter, if you don't want my daughter and my only grandchild living here with us just tell me.
Walter Findlay: And...?
Maude Findlay: And I'll rip your heart out.
Salesman: I'm hoping to get accepted in one of the big eastern universities.
Maude Findlay: Well before you think about college, you should learn to read. That sign says 'No Solicitors'.
Walter Findlay: Maude. Sit.
Maude Findlay: Francie, this is Florida. My dear, dear friend, probably the best friend I have in the whole world.
Florida Evans: I'm the maid.