Michael Scott: This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here.
Michael Scott: It's simply beyond words. It's incalculacable.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam Beesly: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.
Michael Scott: Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one."Little Kid Lover." That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot a deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour. Why do you ask?
Michael Scott: What is the single most important thing for a company? Is it the building? Is it the stock? Is it the turnover? It's the people. The *people*. My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No, no, no, no. It was a young Guatamalan guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr. Scott, will you be the Godfather to my child?" Wow. *Wow.* Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.
Michael Scott: This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago.
Michael Scott: Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."
Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Dwight Schrute: Today is press day, and press is gonna make or break this store. And for a tech company, press can only mean one thing...bloggers. Dossier on bloggers. Bloggers are gross. Bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You're gonna love ‘em.
Michael Scott: Well, here we go, on our way to New York. New York, New York. The city so nice they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name.
Michael Scott: I swore to myself if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh as they saw me coming, and they'd applaud as I walked away.
Michael Scott: Jim is a friend of mine, so the only people this crush really concerns is Jim and Pam. And me.
Jim Halpert: Michael stands in front of the boat and says he's king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck.
Jim Halpert: God, this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head.
Jim Halpert: Because right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.
Kevin Malone: Andy left a carton of milk in the fridge. So, I've been sneaking a little bit every day for the last three months. It's been yummy. But now, Andy's coming back. So, I guess it's good-bye, chunky lemon milk.
Michael's Last Dundies - S7-E20
Michael Scott: The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. When Larry King died, they didn't just cancel his show. They got Pierce Morgan to come in and do his show, and that way Larry lives on.
Suggested correction: Michael didn't establish the contract with Hammer-mill. Rather, he locked them up as an exclusive supplier. It's unknown if they were already selling the products to Dunder Mifflin alongside Staples and Office Max.
Wrong, Josh says they cannot sell Hammer-mill products as they are exclusive to Staples so therefore they wouldn't have been able to sell there products alongside as mentioned before until Michael made them an exclusive to them solely, Dunder Mifflin. Therefore the original mistake stands true.