Melanie: What are you? Mr. Teflon? Shit just never sticks to you.
Emmett: Pink champagne... yeah, uh, that's too nelly, even for me.
Brian Kinney: Yo, bitches - tear each other's hair out later.
Debbie: Now, you'd better get out of here before me and my fag friends beat the living shit out of you.
Michael: He wants me to be honest, to tell him what I really think.
Brian Kinney: And what do you really think?
Michael: It was kinda boring.
Brian Kinney: Kinda like him? He's your partner, Mikey. You gotta sit him down, take his hand and tell him "Honey, it's a steaming pile of horseshit."
Michael: Could you say that to Justin?
Brian Kinney: Yeah. Fortunately... he's a genius.
Michael: You are so helpful.
Michael: If God wanted me on ice, he would have made me a vodka martini.
Michael: You have anything to say?
Brian Kinney: No.
Michael: Well I do. You can fuck him at your place, you can fuck him in his gym class, you can fuck him at the zoo - but you can not fuck him in my mother's house! In my room.
Michael: I don't wanna be a saint. I wanna be a ruthless, heartless shit who fucks whoever he wants without conscience or remorse.
Brian: I'm sorry, that position's already been filled.
Brian: Basic rule of advertising and eternal damnation: Once you sell your soul to the devil, he holds the copyright.
Brian: Remember what I said to you last night?
Justin: Yes, I heard. You said you love me.
Brian: Then how about marrying me?
Michael: You'll always be young. You'll always be beautiful. You're Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake.
Emmett: A song and a snack can turn any moment into an occasion.
Michael: This is where it all began.
Brian: ...and ended.
Michael: But it's who we are. It's what made us.
Brian: Didn't you say that this was all just a cheap illusion? That outside life goes on and in here nothing ever changes?
Michael: I did say that, yes, but that was before I realised that some things aren't meant to change. Dance with me.
Emmett: My intuition tells me things are not going to go well tonight.
Ted: Well, your intuition also told you Madonna was going to win an Oscar for "Evita."
Emmett: She so deserved it.
Brian: Why don't you find yourself some nice fuzzy lezzy with a therapist license and work it out.
Debbie: There is an alternative to going out in a blaze of glory, and that's giving 'em all the big 'Fuck you.'.
Emmett: I feel like the town slut on prom night. Again.
Michael: Why can't we ever see Zephyr in a fuckfest with some great looking guy?
Justin: Because nobody buys our comics to see Zephyr get laid.
Michael: That is so not true! Just because you don't wanna see it.
Justin: It's not that I don't want to see it - it's that I can't imagine it.
Mysterious Marilyn: God writes the script, sweetie. I just say the lines.
Emmett: I haven't seen so many dogs since 101 Dalmatians.
