According to Jim (2001)

Gracie: Trophies are stupid and all the others are nerds. It's like being with 50 other Uncle Andys.

Jim: OK, I stacked the cat in the freezer.

Cheryl: Jim, are you listening to yourself?
Jim: Yes I am, Cheryl. I am a genius. I can talk and listen to myself at the same time.

Jim: Everyone, circumcise your watches.

Kyle: I want a sponge bath, from a nurse.
Cheryl: What?
Kyle: Uncle Andy says they're the best.
Jim: I think sometimes Andy forgets that Kyle's in the back seat.

Andy: I once walked in on my Grandparents doing it. I mean, Grandpa's in his 70's, but he was really putting Nana through her paces.

Jim: You don't even know me any more! I think we should have more sex.
Cheryl: Why?
Jim: Why not?

Cheryl: Jim, there's a lot of culture in this city. We should take advantage of it.
Jim: What? I take you to the zoo.