Quotes from Yeardley Smith movies and TV shows

Season 1 generally

Louise Fitzer: Do I sound anything like Lisa from The Simpsons?

Curtis: We gotta get some gas.
Connie: That's good, because I got to go to the ladies room.
Curtis: Can I come in and watch?
Connie: No, you cannot come in and watch.
Curtis: Damn.

[Bart and Lisa discover a rift portal, with a do not use sign. Bart enters anyway.]
Lisa Simpson: No, stupid, the sign.
Bart Simpson: Reading's for nerds. Hop in.

Casual Person

Lisa: Dad, do something!
[Homer flips through the Bible.]
Homer: This book doesn't have any answers!

Lisa: I haven't seen you in school.
Colin: Just moved from Ireland. My dad's a musician.
Lisa: Is he...
Colin: He's not Bono.
Lisa: I just thought, because you're Irish and you care about...
Colin: He's NOT Bono.

Lisa: Wait, wait, wait, it looks like Maggie has something to say.
Marge: Oh my God, her first word!
Maggie: Sequel?

Tree House of Horror XII - S13-E1

Homer: Die, you monster!
Lisa: Dad, that's the water softener.
Homer: Well, I am missing the back of my head. I think you could cut me some slack.

Cubs Fan ★

Lisa the Vegetarian - S7-E5

Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausage in that syrup Homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbecue-wrecking know-nothing know-it-all.

Phaneron ★

The Old Man and the Key - S13-E13

Homer: Here we are: Branson, Missouri.
Male Charles Bronson Lookalike: No, pally. This is Bronson, Missouri.
Lisa: Well how do we get to Branson?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: Number 10 bus.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: Hey Ma, how 'bout some cookies?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: No dice.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: This ain't over.

Phaneron ★

Homer Simpson in 'Kidney Trouble' - S10-E8

Marge: Aren't you going to give him the Last Rites?
Reverend Lovejoy: That's Catholic, Marge. You might as well ask me to do a voodoo dance.
Lisa: Dr. Hibbert, I thought you located another kidney for Grampa?
Dr. Hibbert: Larry Hagman took it. He's got five of them now, and three hearts. We didn't want to give them to him, but he overpowered us.

Phaneron ★

I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can - S14-E12

George Plimpton: Alright, your word is "whether."
Sun Moon: Which one? Can you use it in a sentence?
George Plimpton: Certainly. "I don't know whether the weather will improve."
Sun Moon: Uh, ooh, W, uh, um, E... [gets disqualified]
George Plimpton: Alex, your word is "rigged." As in, "This contest is rigged."
Alex: R-I-G-G-E-D. "Wigged."
George Plimpton: Bravo, my pet. You shall be champion, assuming Lisa misspells this next word. The word is "intransigence."
Lisa: Could I please hear it in a sentence?
George Plimpton: Certainly. "The little girl's intransigence cost her the college of her choice."
Lisa: "Intransigence." I...
Homer: Daddy made it for your dance recital, honey!
Lisa: Dad, you do care.
Homer: Damn right. You're number one on my menu. Now super-size it.
Lisa: With you here, I can't fail. Attention everyone. I was asked to take a dive, but I won't do it! I-N-T-R-A-N-S-I-G-A-N-C-E.
George Plimpton: You fool, it's "E-N-C-E."
Lisa: Oh my god, you're right. I spelled it wrong. I tried my best and I failed.
George Plimpton: And now you lose everything. And I go back to whatever it is I do.

Phaneron ★

Bart Gets an Elephant - S5-E17

[Homer is driving and crashes into a statue of a deer.]
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer.

The Great Louse Detective - S14-E6

Bart/Lisa: Aaaaah! Sideshow Bob!
Sideshow Bob: Please. We've known each other for so long. Call me Bob.
Bart/Lisa: Aaaaah! Bob!

Lisa's Substitute - S2-E19

Lisa: Dad, you're not listening!
Homer: Hey! Just because I don't care it doesn't mean I'm not listening!

Brother From Another Series - S8-E16

Bart: Inside the body of every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.
Lisa: And vice versa.

Lisa: Oedipus killed his father and married his mother.
Homer: Ehhh. Who pays for that wedding?

Lisa the Vegetarian - S7-E5

Homer: Look, look I got my invitations back from the printers.
Lisa: "Come to Homer's B.B.B.Q. The extra B is for B.Y.O.B.B." What's that extra B for?
Homer: That's a typo.

A Star is Burns - S6-E18

Lisa: What you doin' Ma?
Marge: I'm looking for a film critic to help judge our festival. Did you know there are over 600 critics on TV, and Leonard Maltin is the best looking of them all?
Lisa: Ew!

Phaneron ★