Sir Alexander Dane: Could they be the miners?
Fred Kwan: Sure, they're like three years old.
Sir Alexander Dane: MINERS, not MINORS.
Fred Kwan: You lost me.
.jpg)
Quotes from Tony Shalhoub movies and TV shows
[As the others are about to exit the ship onto a random planet.]
Guy Fleegman: Don't open that! Is there AIR?! You don't know!
Fred Kwan: [Sniffs air.] Seems OK.
Fred Kwan: It's the simple things in life you treasure.
Alexander Dane: Dear God... How did I come to this?
Tommy Webber: Not again...
Alexander Dane: I played Richard III...
Fred Kwan: Five curtain calls...
Alexander Dane: There were five curtain calls! I was an actor once, damn it. Now look at me ... LOOK AT ME! I cannot go out there, and I won't say that stupid line one more time. I can't ... And I won't.
Gwen DeMarco: Well, Alex, at least you had a part, okay? You had a character people loved! I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my boobs and how they fit into my suit. No one even bothered to ask me what I DO on the show.
Fred Kwan: You had the... Wait, wait, I'll think of it...
Gwen DeMarco: I repeated the computer, Fred.
Adrian Monk: Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not.
Adrian Monk: Here's what happened.
Adrian Monk: I don't know how he did it. But he did it.
Dr. Shuler: You’re gonna feel normal for a while. And then there’s gonna be some vomiting, followed by death.
Monk: Vomiting?
Dr. Shuler: That’s right. Followed by death.
Monk: Vomiting.
Dr. Shuler: Yes. Followed by death.
Monk: Vomiting!
Dr. Shuler: Adrian, I really need you to focus on the last part of that sentence. There’s gonna be some vomiting... and then death.
Monk: Is there any chance death could come before the vomiting?
Monk: It's a gift...and a curse.
Mr. Monk and the Candidate (1) - S1-E1
Sharona: You're going straight to hell.
Adrian Monk: I am in hell.
Mr. Monk Meets the Playboy - S2-E8
Noelle Winters: Is your wife here?
Adrian Monk: I'm not married.
Noelle Winters: You're wearing a ring.
Adrian Monk: She passed away. I can't bring myself to take it off yet.
Noelle Winters: Oh, I'm sorry. When did she die?
Adrian Monk: Six years ago.
Mr. Monk and the Candidate (1) - S1-E1
Adrian Monk: Are you registered to vote?
Sharona Fleming: I never vote. It only encourages them.
Mr. Monk Makes A Friend - S5-E11
Monk: [On the phone with Hal] Oh that, that, that was just my assistant, Natalie. Uh? Ah, hold on, I'll see. [Speaking to Natalie] Are you hot?
Adrian Monk: Here's what happened.
Mr. Monk and the Three Julies - S6-E13
Dr. Kroger: So, uh, a glass eyeball, huh?
Monk: The mother died three months ago. The son never reported it.
Dr. Kroger: Wait, did the son kill the mother?
Monk: The doctors say no. It was a heart aneurysm. Her son, Matthew, is an amateur taxidermist. He stuffed her body. He carried her from room to room like nothing happened.
Dr. Kroger: Yeah, I've heard of cases like that. See, he couldn't function without her. They call it "radical cognitive bonding."
Monk: At least I never dug Trudy up and had her stuffed and mounted, right?
Dr. Kroger. Yes. And I've always been very proud of you for that.
More Monk quotes