Quotes from Ted Danson movies and TV shows

Dr. John Becker: The world is full of idiots, and someone needs to point it out to them or they will never know.

Linda: What do you have against the New York City Marathon?
Dr. John Becker: The Marathon just gets my hopes up. At first it seems like 20,000 idiots are leaving the city, but then they just make a big loop and come right back.

Pilot - S1-E1

Becker: You owe me. If I had not met your wife you would be still married to her.

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Partial Law - S1-E17

Becker: Don't you ever stop and think about what your about to say before you start talking?
Linda: No, I like to hear it for the first time with everyone else.

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Dr. John Becker: That's the problem with the world, everybody says "Everybody does it," so everybody does it.

Pilot - S1-E1

Becker: White trash is the one natural resource this country will never run out of!

Bowling255 ★

Dr. John Becker: Too many people know where I eat.

Dr. John Becker: Romance is like the cheese in the mousetrap - it baits you into position, so the cold, metal bar of reality can come down and snap your neck.

Bob: I was doing some research on the internet.
Dr. John Becker: Must have come as a surprise that it's not all porn, huh?
Bob: One shock at a time.

Dr. John Becker: If you and I were the only people on the face of the Earth, that would be the only thing we'd have in common.

Dr. John Becker: I never told you to shut up.
Mr. Humphries: You hung up on me once.
Dr. John Becker: So I didn't have to tell you to shut up.

Dr. John Becker: Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Bob: That's nice, John.
Dr. John Becker: I was talking to the cigarettes.

Dr. John Becker: He took special interest in one student. Can you guess who that young man was?
Linda: Who?
Dr. John Becker: Linda, don't be such an idiot. It's me.
Linda: Oh, when you said young it threw me off.

Margaret: So someone finally shot you.
Dr. John Becker: I always thought it would be you, Margaret.
Margaret: So did I.

Pilot - S1-E1

Mrs. Johnson: Thank you doctor. You may Just end up going to heaven wether you like it or not.
Dr John Becker: Thank you. That's the first time anyone suggested I go in that direction.

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Activate Your Choices - S1-E15

Becker: You bet $20 that I would sleep with my ex wife?
Reggie: You're a guy, the odds were with me.

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Sam: I've never met an intelligent woman I'd want to date.
Diane: On behalf of all the intelligent women in America, may I just say: whew.

Sam: You drinking again?
Rebecca: Certainly not. I never stopped.

Diane Meets Mom - S3-E8

Frasier's Mother: [Referring to Diane.] I understand you used to date that woman.
Sam Malone: That's right.
Frasier's Mother: How much would it take to start things up again?
Sam Malone: You don't have enough money.
Frasier's Mother: How do you know?
Sam Malone: There isn't enough money.

Sam: Diane, I've got a problem.
Diane: Who is she, and how many months?