Quotes from Robert Downey Jr. movies and TV shows - page 7 of 11

Hank Palmer: My father is a lot of unpleasant things, but murderer is not one of them.

Doc Morris: Wow, this isn't an act, is it? You really aren't a pleasant person.
Hank Palmer: Right now? I'm a summer breeze. Once I subpoena you, get you on the stand and extract the truth from your ass like tree sap then you'll realise in that moment, correct, I'm not a pleasant person.

Judge Joseph Palmer: You and I are finally done.
Hank Palmer: Oh, we're not done.

Hank Palmer: Dial down the crazy now. Dial it down.
Glen Palmer: Don't pat me. Don't pat me. I'm the big brother here. Don't pat me.

Lauren Palmer: Daddies don't get lonely. They only marry younger mommies.
Hank Palmer: Well, we'll figure it all out baby.
Lauren Palmer: It happened to Megan. Then it happened to Kaitlyn. I just didn't think it'd happen to me.
Hank Palmer: Me neither.

Mike Kattan: And how does it feel, Hank? Knowing that every client you represent is guilty?
Hank Palmer: It's fine. Innocent people can't afford me.

Hank Palmer: Shit happens.
Judge Joseph Palmer: Like your marriage.

Hank Palmer: Everyone wants Atticus Finch until there's a dead hooker in a bathtub. Note: Atticus Finch is the lawyer in "To Kill a Mockingbird."

Hank Palmer: This family's a fucking Picasso painting.

Harry: Still gay?
Gay Perry: Me? No, I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much I can't get rid of it.

Harry: What?
Gay Perry: Talking money.
Harry: A talking monkey?
Gay Perry: Talking monkey yeah, yeah! Came here from the future, ugly sucker, only says "ficus."

Gay Perry: That it?
Harry: No, that's the other corpse from the last guy who stayed here.

Harry: Oh Wow. Woo. It's tiny. Is this real?
Perry: Yeah, it's a Derringer. It's loaded. I call it my faggot gun.
Harry: Because...
Perry: Because its only good for a couple shots, then you gotta drop it for something better. You asked, Chief.

Harry: What is it out here with these women?
Harmony: Oh please, Harry, they're no different from anywhere else.
Harry: Yes, they are. These are damaged goods, every one of them, from way back. I'm telling you, you take a guy who sleeps with 100 women a year, go into his childhood - dollars to doughnuts, it's relatively unspectacular. Now, you take one of these... Gals, who sleeps with 100 guys a year, and I *bet* you if you look in their childhood, there's something rotten in Denver.
Harmony: Denmark.
Harry: That too! But it's abandonment, it's abuse, it's, "My uncle put his ping-ping in my papa!" And then they all come out here! I mean, it's literally like someone took America by the East Coast and shook it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on.
Harmony: OK, everyone who hates Harry raise your hand!
[All the girls in the club raise their hands.]
Perry: See that? Obedient little bi***es too.
Girl: Fuck you! [Throws a glass at Perry, which he ducks].

Harry: I peed on the corpse. Can they do, like, an ID from that?
Perry: I'm sorry, you peed on...?
Harry: On the corpse. My question is...
Perry: No, my question. I get to go first. Why in pluperfect hell would you pee on corpse?

Harmony: I left when you still had your tongue down her throat, Harry?
Harry: Oh god! Wrong throat, wrong one. That's bad.
Harmony: Yeah that's bad. You got 10 seconds Harry.
Harry: Oh boy! Pressure, pressure, pressure.

Harry: This is every shade of wrong.

Perry: My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift. You threw in the lake next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol. Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Perry: No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!

Harry: Is she a looker?
Perry: She opens the door, and she got nothing on but the radio. Yeah, invites me to sit down, sits on my lap, fires up a spliff.
Harry: Geez. Really?
Perry: No. Idiot.

Harmony: Well, for starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had a hot meal.
Harry: Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck and then she skipped lunch.