Quotes from Paul Rudd movies and TV shows - page 3 of 4

George: Stop shouting! I don't hear you when you do that. Not ever.

Lisa: Did you ever wish you could delete everything you said as soon as you'd said it? Lately all I do is hear myself being so weak and whiny and needy that I wish I could delete every.
George: I think the answer to that is to stop talking. Deny a voice to what's falling apart. No lip service. That's my advice to you.

Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter Klaven: Oh come on!

Sydney Fife: Society tells us we're civilized but the truth is we are animals. Sometimes we just have to let it out. Try it.
Peter Klaven: Baaah!
Sydney Fife: Good. Now gently remove your tampon and try again.

Teacher: I see where he got it.
Erasmus: Don't you think this is the pot calling the kettle black?
Paul: I did notice the word "felching" on your classroom wall which I thought was inappropriate in a classroom.
Teacher: That is "felting".
Paul: Oh, yeah. That makes more sense. Felching isn't until middle school. (01:01:04)

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Pete: Just don't ask me to lend you any money.
Ben Stone: Can I just - have some?

Pete: I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles.
Ben Stone: That's sad.
Pete: Totally sad. Their smiling faces just point out your inability to enjoy anything.

Pete: You look like a cholo dressed up for Easter.

Pete: Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.

Pete: You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth.

George Hanson: I'm simple, that's why I teach first grade.

Billy: Nothing like two dudes and a dog making candles.
Ned: Such a cliche.

Ned: This is like free therapy. New York State cares.

Billy: Do you think this is an ugly candle?
Ned: No way, man. There's no such thing as an ugly homemade candle.

Ned: I need some leg warmers, my Croc is stuck.

Ashley: I hope you don't mind me asking, but how, um... How did it happen?
Henry: She was crushed by an angel and as sad as I am, I do appreciate the irony.

Lance: Hey, Alvin. If you were in a regional beauty pageant, and you were a girl, what would your special talent be?
Alvin: Triple Jump.

Truck Driver: You know what? You shouldn't smoke.
Alvin: Yeah, I know, it's bad for ya.
Truck Driver: No, I mean you shouldn't smoke. You look stupid.

Alvin: There's a difference between being lonely and being alone.

Alvin: Gonna hit it in with your hand?