Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Fuck off.
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?
Sadie: Where do babies come from?
Debbie: Where do you think they come from?
Sadie: Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.
Debbie: That's exactly right.
Doorman: What the fuck is she doing at the club? That's not even good parenting right there. Your old ass should know better than that.
Fantasy Baseball Guy #1: Hey, don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out.
Jason: Granted, gynecology is only a hobby of mine, but it sounds to me like she's crowning.
Pete: You look like a cholo dressed up for Easter.
Jonah: Hey Crocket, how's Tubbs doing?
Martin: Oh, another beard joke?
Jonah: How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?
Martin: It was really awkward.
Jonah: See ya... Scorcese on coke.
Jason: Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.
Ben Stone: If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."
Debbie: You think because you don't yell, you're not mean. This is mean.
Alison Scott: Why don't you go fuck your fucking bong you fuck.
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once.
Ben Stone: Yeah, it's a cure-all. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just smoked some weed. It still clicks, but it's cool.
Jonah: She like-a the way your dick taste.
Jay: You're embarrassing me in company.
Jonah: You embarrass yourself.
Jay: Because your face looks like a vagina.
Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong.
Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't.
Jonah: Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous.
Ben Stone: Now that's how you get pink eye.
