Quotes from Owen Wilson movies and TV shows - page 3 of 6

Francis: Any questions?
Peter: I have one. What happened to your face?

Francis: I guess I've still got a lot of healing to do.
Jack: Gettin' there, though.
Peter: Anyway, it's definitely going to add a lot of character to you.

Jack: You wanna read a short story I wrote in France?
Francis: How long is it?
Jack: What?
Francis: How long is it?
Jack: How long is it? Never mind. Forget it.

Peter: You know, maybe right before whenever you're about to take out your tooth, you should say something like, "Please forgive this." Because, actually, it's kind of.
Francis: Can you back away a little? You just spit in my eye.

Peter: I can't believe you just said that.
Francis: Why not? It's the truth.
Jack: He didn't really mean it.
Alice: I think you're all equally grief-stricken. Let's just leave it at that.

Francis: Ok. Let's check the next itinerary.
Peter: Fuck the itinerary.

Francis: Let's take a look at the itinerary.
Peter: Fuck the itinerary.

Drillbit Taylor: I'm Drillbit Taylor... US Army ranger, black-ops operative, decorated marksman, improvised weapons expert.
Wade: Are you still in the military?
Drillbit Taylor: I was discharged - unauthorized heroism.

Matty: Let me ask you something, how do you know when you're in love?
Bullpen Pitcher: Well.
Matty: What?
Bullpen Pitcher: I've got a way, whenever this one thing happens I know I'm done. I will tell you but its personal and I don't want anybody making fun of me for it.
Matty: No, no-ones going to... just go.
Bullpen Pitcher: I think I'm in love with somebody when I wear a condom with the other girls, OK?
Matty: Holy shit I'm in love.

Lisa: George, this is my boyfriend Matty.
George: Nice to meet you.
Matty: Who is he?
Lisa: You didn't even say hello.
Matty: Yeah, I think you ought to check with me before you invite some guy over, so I'm a little bit too pissed off to say hello.

Lisa: OK, then this is what I need, if in the middle of the night I start crying, shaking or getting enormously upset I don't want you to ask me what's wrong, I just want you to ignore it. Is that OK with you?
Matty: Actually that's my preference.

Nick Campbell: For whatever it's worth, your imagination is so wild, reality's gonna be a breeze, if not a letdown.

Neha: I've only read about this stuff, okay? Craigslist casual encounters, Twilight fanfiction, hentai.
Nick Campbell: What's hentai?
Neha: Japanese comic books where the women get penetrated by octopus tentacles.

Billy McMahon: No, we can't talk about it later. The future doesn't know later.
Nick Campbell: All the future is, is later. That's literally what the future is. It's later. What are you talking about?

Stuart: Quick interjection: When you keep saying 'on the line, ' you do mean online?
Nick Campbell: Stuart. Don't do that. You don't do that to a man. He's got a million-dollar idea right here.
Stuart: A billion-dollar idea?
Nick Campbell: Even better. Let him flow.

Nick Campbell: Why not use emacs rather than vi as the default editor for Ubuntu?

Dana: Are you talking about regret?
Nick Campbell: Well, I don't want to add not asking you out to that list, because the credit card is maxed out.
Dana: Okay, so, let me establish, you are in fact asking me out on a date?
Nick Campbell: Yes. And I figure I'm such a mountain of mistakes that going out with me just once this evening will be like packing 10 years of bad experience into, ya know, one night.

Jeanie: Let me call Kevin.
Nick Campbell: Jeanie... I'm sure your boyfriend's a great guy, but I'm not ready to work for someone who spent all of last Thanksgiving explaining the meaning of his tattoo.

Nick Campbell: Wh-Why did you bring me over to introduce me to this guy? It's like he was your best friend. You introduced me to Hitler.

Nick Campbell: Geez, Yo-Yo, did you get beat up a lot in school?
Yo-Yo Santos: I was homeschooled by my mom.
Billy McMahon: Did you get beat up a lot in homeschool?