Bart Simpson: You've learned a valuable lesson, Skinner. Confessing to crime doesn't pay. Book him, Wiggum.
Chief Wiggum: I know I'm supposed to book him. God.
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Quotes from Nancy Cartwright movies and TV shows
Carl: You saved our lives. You kids are heroes.
Lenny: Yeah, we're gonna tell everybody we were rescued by, uh, Homer's kids, whose names are, uh...
Bart Simpson: Bart and Lisa. I can't believe you forgot our names. You've known us our whole lives.
Lenny: So? We're not thinking about you all the time, you know.
[Bart and Lisa discover a rift portal, with a do not use sign. Bart enters anyway.]
Lisa Simpson: No, stupid, the sign.
Bart Simpson: Reading's for nerds. Hop in.
Bart Simpson: Sideshow Bob?
[Homer and Bart scream.]
Sideshow Bob: Don't bother crying out in terror. In space, no one can hear you scream.
Bart Simpson: We're not in space.
Sideshow Bob: Well, we're in a space-ship.
Homer Simpson: Not the same thing.
Bart Simpson: This must be the level boss for this part of the game.
Homer Simpson: The boss? Quick, everyone look busy.
Bart Simpson: Guys, look. The laser hatch opens after every four laser bursts. That's the weak spot when we need to fire.
Kang: Hey, Kodos. That ugly kid's right. Why are we exposing our weak spot after every four laser bursts?
Kodos: You're right. Why do we even need to expose our weak spot at all?
Kang: Thanks for the heads up, Earth dumb ass.
Kodos: Screw fighting one family. Why don't we just blow up the whole town? They can't stop us from doing that.
Kang: Sounds good to space-me.
Homer Simpson: Marge, in every marriage you get one chance to say, "I need you to do this with me." And there's only one answer when somebody says that.
Marge Simpson: OK Homie, I'm with ya.
Homer: Thank you my sweetheart.
Bart Simpson: Mom?
Marge: Yes honey?
Bart: You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertiliser salesman!
Bart Simpson: This is the worst day of my life.
Homer Simpson: The worst day of your life *so far*.
Bart Simpson: Dad! It's not fair to use a bug zapper to catch the fish!
Homer Simpson: If you love fish like I do, you want them to die with dignity!
Marge Simpson: Bart, are you drinking whiskey?
Bart Simpson: [drunk.] I'm troubled!
Ned Flanders: Uh, Homer? I don't mean to be a nervous Pervis, but if he falls, couldn't that make your boy a parapleg-erino?
Homer Simpson: Shut up, Flanders.
Bart Simpson: Yeah, shut up, Flanders.
Homer Simpson: Well said, boy!
Ralph Wiggum: I like men now!
TV Announcer: The Continental Soccer Association is coming to Springfield. It's all here: fast kicking, low scoring. And ties? You bet.
Bart: Hey Dad, how come you've never taken us to see a soccer game?
Homer: I don't know.
TV Announcer: You'll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Arriaga, Arriaga II, Barriaga, Aruglia, and Pizzozza.
Homer: Oh, I've never heard of those people.
TV Announcer: And they'll all be signing autographs.
Homer: Woohoo!
TV Announcer: This match will determine once and for all which nation is the greatest on Earth. Mexico or Portugal.
Skinner's Sense of Snow - S12-E8
Nelson: Hey, look how much Skinner makes: $25,000 a year.
Bart: Let's see, he's 40 years old times 25 grand. Whoa, he's a millionaire.
Skinner: I wasn't a principal when I was one.
Nelson: Plus, in the summer, he paints houses.
Milhouse: He's a billionaire.
Skinner: If I were a billionaire, why would I be living with my mother? [All the kids laugh at him.] They're just not responding to logic anymore.
Bart: Oh, I'm starving. Mom, can we go Catholic so we can get Communion wafers and booze?
Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausage in that syrup Homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbecue-wrecking know-nothing know-it-all.
[Bart is in class discreetly listening to an incarcerated Sideshow Bob on a talk radio show.]
Birch Barlow: I am going to make it my mission to see that our friend Bob is set free.
Bart: No!
Ms. Krabappel: Well, despite Bart's objections, the people of South Africa can now vote in free democratic elections.
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