Quotes from Mike Myers movies and TV shows - page 5 of 5

Harriet Michaels: I have a surprise for you.
Charlie Mackenzie: What is it?
Harriet Michaels: It's a health shake. And I made it especially for you. Try it.
Charlie Mackenzie: Thank you, no. Thanks. Thanks.

Charlie Mackenzie: Woman! Woah-man! Wooaahhhhh-man! We had love, not just sex. Is she Mrs. X? I had to run for my life... Jane, get me off this crazy thing called love.

Rose Michaels: Well... you know Harriet.
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, actually, I don't.
Rose Michaels: But you did have sex with her.
Charlie Mackenzie: Hello.

May Mackenzie: Wow, you've turned into a right sexy wee bastard. Do you know that?
Tony Giardino: Thanks, Mrs. Mackenzie.
May Mackenzie: Hasn't he?
Charlie Mackenzie: Oh, I think so.

Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.

Tony Giardino: Larry Leonard, crooner, made a name for himself being able to sing in six different languages the song, "Only You.
Charlie Mackenzie: Yes, see?
Tony Giardino: Charlie, does Harriett even know the words to Only You?
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, I don't know Tony, we haven't reached that all too critical do you know the words to "Only You" phase in our relationship, so I'm afraid I'm not much help.

Charlie Mackenzie: Come, let us dance like children of the night.

Stuart Mackenzie: Thirty years ago today, May and I were married. Some of you were there, some of you weren't born, and some of you are now deed! But, we both said "I do," and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.
May Mackenzie: That's true.
Stuart Mackenzie: But I'm glad I married you, May, because hey, could've been worse.

Charlie MacKenzie: Hey, mom. I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as "the paper." The paper contains facts.
May MacKenzie: This paper contains facts. And this paper has the 8th highest circulation in the whole wide world. All right? Plenty of facts. "Pregnant man gives birth." That's a fact.

Bishop73

Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?
Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.

Wayne Campbell: No way!
Garth Algar: Way!

Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babelicious.
Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.

Cassandra: I don't believe I've ever had French champagne before...
Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French, it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "champagne", even though by definition they're not.
Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek: The Next Generation." In many ways it's superior but will never be as recognized as the original.

Garth: I've never seen you so mental over a girl before. Are you gonna marry her?
Wayne: Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries!

Wayne Campbell: All I have to say about that is "asphinctersayswhat."
Noah Vanderhoff: What?
Wayne Campbell: Exactly.

Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.

Wayne Campbell: Wow! What a totally amazing, excellent discovery!

Wayne Campbell: She will be mine. Oh, yes - she will be mine.

Wayne Campbell: I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.