Quotes from Michael Caine movies and TV shows - page 3 of 8

Alfred Pennyworth: Will you be wanting the Batpod, sir?
Bruce Wayne: In the middle of the day, Alfred? Not very subtle.
Alfred: The Lamborghini, then. Much more subtle.

Bishop73

Harvey Dent: You're Alfred, right?
Alfred Pennyworth: Yeah.
Harvey Dent: [about Rachel.] Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should know about?
Alfred Pennyworth: You have no idea.

Bruce Wayne: Today you get to tell me 'I told you so'.
Alfred Pennyworth: Today, sir, I don't want to.
[They walk towards the lift for a few moments. Alfred leans toward Bruce.]
Alfred Pennyworth: ...But I did bloody tell you.

Sidney Bruhl: Every time I come in this bloody house, you scream.

Myra Bruhl: Well, have you thought about collaboration?
Sidney Bruhl: I don't want any help in killing Clifford Anderson. I want to strike the blow myself.

Lawrence Jamieson: Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron.

Lawrence Jamieson: Do you ever have a single thought that originates from above the waist?
Freddy Benson: No.

Lawrence Jamieson: You can't be too careful, Andre. After all, a poacher who shoots at rabbits may scare the big game away.

Kate Miller: Maybe there's something wrong with me.
Doctor Robert Elliott: There's nothing wrong with you.
Kate Miller: Do you find me attractive?
Doctor Robert Elliott: Of course.
Kate Miller: Would you want to sleep with me?
Doctor Robert Elliott: Yes.
Kate Miller: Then why don't you?
Doctor Robert Elliott: Because I love my wife, and sleeping with you isn't worth jeopardizing my marriage. Is it worth it to you?
Kate Miller: I don't know.

Doctor Robert Elliott: Doctor, I am not paranoid. Bobbi was making threats over the phone. She said she's going to hurt me. My patient was slashed to death. And now my razor is gone. Now you don't have to be a detective to figure it out, do you?

Liz Blake: Do you want to fuck me?
Doctor Robert Elliott: Oh, yes.
Liz Blake: Then why don't you?
Doctor Robert Elliott: Because I'm a doctor and.
Liz Blake: Fucked a lot of doctors.
Doctor Robert Elliott: ...and I'm married.
Liz Blake: Fucked a lot of them, too.

Dr. Frank Bryant: Found a culture, have you Rita? Found a better song to sing? No, you found a different song to sing, and on your lips it's shrill and hollow and tuneless.

Dr. Frank Bryant: What does it say?
Rita: Right. I've passed. Now will you get on that bloody plane?
Dr. Frank Bryant: Let me see. You've passed with distinction. I'm proud of you, Rita.
Rita: I'm proud of both of us.

Dr. Frank Bryant: Did you know that Macbeth was a maggoty apple? Not many people know that.

Brian: Yes, well, apparently you were a little... drunk at your tutorial today.
Dr. Frank Bryant: No.
Brian: No?
Dr. Frank Bryant: No. I was a lot drunk.
Brian: Oh, Frank, why do you do it? When you've got... well, what haven't you got?
Dr. Frank Bryant: A drink at the moment.

Capt. John Colby - The Players: England: What's the verdict on Williams?
Major Karl Von Steiner - The Germans: A regrettable mistake.
Capt. John Colby - The Players: England: The whole bloody war's a regrettable mistake.
Major Karl Von Steiner - The Germans: I agree.

Jack Carter: You couldn't run an egg and spoon race Eric.

Eric: So, what're you doing then? On your holidays?
Jack Carter: No, I'm visiting relatives.
Eric: Oh, that's nice.
Jack Carter: It would be... if they were still living.

Edna: What's that gun doing in your room? Suppose I phone the police, told them there's a bloke in my hotel... who's planning to shoot somebody?
Jack Carter: You wouldn't do that.
Edna: How do you know I wouldn't?
Jack Carter: 'Cause I know you wear purple underwear.
Edna: What's that supposed to mean?
Jack Carter: Think about it.

Jack Carter: You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow.