Quotes from Matthew Broderick movies and TV shows - page 3 of 3

Kovu: I humbly ask to join your pride.
Simba: No! You were banished, along with the outsiders.
Kovu: I have left the outsiders. I'm a rogue, judge me now, for who I am. Or am I to be blamed for a crime I didn't commit?

Professor Harold Hill: You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you've collected a lot of empty yesterdays.

Constable Locke: Professor, you're a pretty bright young fellow. Ya made a couple of mistakes though.
Professor Harold Hill: Oh?
Constable Locke: The mayor happens to own the billiard parlor and that new pool table.
Professor Harold Hill: Oh. What was the other mistake?
Constable Locke: That Zaneeta? She's the mayor's oldest girl.

Leo Bloom: Mr. Marks, you were right about one thing. You are a CPA. A Certified Public ASS-HOLE.

Leo Bloom: We might have a position for you.
Max Bialystock: As a matter of fact, we might have several positions for you.

Leo Bloom: Today I have taken the Siegfried oath, and danced with a sailor, police man and very friendly Cherokee Indian.

Leo Bloom: FAT! FAT.
Max Bialystock: I'm not that fat.
Leo Bloom: FAT! Fat! Fatty! Fatso! You fat fat fatty fat walrus! Gimme the FAT books.

Leo Bloom: Oh, Max. Max, she's fantastic. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I've never felt this way before. It's like a volcano erupting inside of me... like hot lava rising higher and higher and - What is that, Max? What is it?
Max Bialystock: It's called an erection. It's either that or malaria.

Leo Bloom: Actors are not animals! They're human beings.
Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?

Leo Bloom: Mr. Bialystock, I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone with a spine.

Jimmy Garrett: A human pilot would react differently, because a human pilot would know that he's going to die.

Jimmy Garrett: So I'm the new 'Lord Of The Apes'.

Walter Kresby: First of all we are in the country now, so no more black.
Joanna Eberhart: No more black? Are you insane?
Walter Kresby: You heard me. Only high-powered, neurotic, castrating, Manhattan career bitches wear black. Is that what you want to be?
Joanna Eberhart: Ever since I was a little girl.

Walter Kresby: She's not a robot. She never was. I couldn't do it.
Mike Wellington: Why not?
Walter Kresby: Because she's not a science project. Because I didn't marry something from RadioShack.
Mike Wellington: That's a shame.
Joanna Eberhart: No. That's a man.

Teacher: Despereaux.
Despereaux: Yes?
Teacher: You didn't cower.
Despereaux: Look's like a sword.
Teacher: It's a carving knife.
Despereaux: It's beautiful.
Teacher: It's dangerous.
Despereaux: Do you have any more?

David: What kind of an asshole lives on an island and he doesn't even have a boat?
Jennifer: Maybe we can swim for it. How far do you think it is?
David: No, it's uh, 2 or 3 miles at least, maybe more.
Jennifer: Well, what do you say? Let's go for it.
David: No.
Jennifer: Come on!
David: No! I can't swim
Jennifer: You can't swim?
David: No, I can't. Okay, Wonder Woman? I can't swim.
Jennifer: Well, what kind of an asshole grows up in Seattle and doesn't even know how to swim?

Bishop73

Sammy: I could use a beer.
Brian: I could use a tranquilizer.

Sammy: That just seems like an awful lot of extra paperwork.
Brian: I like paperwork.