Quotes from Martin Sheen movies and TV shows

Willard: Hey soldier, do you know who's in command here?
Soldier: Ain't you?

Willard: If that's how Kilgore fought the war I began to wonder what they really had against Kurtz. It wasn't just insanity and murder, there was enough of that to go around for everyone.

Willard: Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. It was a real choice mission, and when it was over, I never wanted another.

Oliver Queenan: Do you know what we do here? My section?
Billy Costigan: Sir, yes, sir. I have an idea...
Dignam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's say you have no idea and leave it at that, okay? No idea. Zip. None. If you had an idea of what we do, we would not be good at what we do, now would we? We would be cunts. Are you calling us cunts?
Oliver Queenan: Staff Sergeant Dignam has a style of his own. I'm afraid we all have to get used to it.

President Josiah Bartlet: What's next?

President Bartlet: I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. Toby, tell me: these people don't vote, do they?

Leo McGarry: How are you doing, Ainsley?
Ainsley Hayes: [Nervous.] I'm concerned about peeing on your carpet.
Leo McGarry: Ok, well, now I am too.
Ainsley Hayes: Can I use your bathroom?
Leo McGarry: Sure.
[She walks into the closet.]
President Bartlet: Where is she?
Sam Seaborn: In the closet.
President Bartlet: Come on out Ainsley. What were you doing in the closet?
Ainsley Hayes: I had to pee.
President Bartlet: They wont let me smoke inside, but you can pee in Leo's closet.

He Shall, from Time to Time - S1-E12

C.J. Cregg: What are you taking?
President Josiah Bartlet: I don't know. My wife hands me pills, I swallow them with water.
Sam Seaborn: Sir?
President Josiah Bartlet: Vitamin C, Vitamin B. Is it possible I'm taking something called euthanasia?
Sam Seaborn: Echinacea?
President Josiah Bartlet: Ah, that sounds more like it.

Shibboleth - S2-E8

C.J.: Sorry to ask you this, sir, but...
President Bartlet: Not too late to stop yourself.
C.J.: I need you to pardon a turkey.
President Bartlet: I already pardoned a turkey.
C.J.: I need you to pardon another one.
President Bartlet: Didn't I do it right?
C.J.: You did it great, but I need you to come out here and pardon another one.
President Bartlet: Aren't I going to get a reputation for being soft on turkeys?
C.J.: Sir, can you come out here and just get this over with?
President Bartlet: No, I'm not gonna just get this... What the hell's going on?
C.J.: They sent me two turkeys. The more photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children's zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.
President Bartlet: If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.

Pilot - S1-E1

John Van Dyke: If our children can buy pornography on any street corner for five dollars, isn't that too high a price to pay for free speech?
President Josiah Bartlet: No.
John Van Dyke: Really?
President Josiah Bartlet: On the other hand, I think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography.

Pilot - S1-E1

John Van Dyke: The First Commandment says Honor thy father.
Toby Ziegler: No it doesn't
Josh Lyman: Toby...
Toby Ziegler: It doesn't.
Josh Lyman: Listen...
Toby Ziegler: No if I'm going to make you sit through this preposterous exercise, we're going to get the names of the damn commandments right.
Mary Marsh: Okay. Here we go.
Toby Ziegler: Honor thy father is the Third Commandment.
John Van Dyke: Then what's the First Commandment?
President Josiah Bartlet: I am the Lord your God. Thou shalt worship no other god before me. Boy, those were the days, huh?

20 Hours in America: Part I - S4-E1

President Josiah Bartlet: I'm going to find out anyway. What I lack in memory, I more than make up for with exceptional powers of deductive reasoning.

Debate Camp - S4-E5

President Josiah Bartlet: My daughters are here?
Abbey Bartlet: Are you kidding? Ellie's wearing makeup.
President Josiah Bartlet: Well, I don't approve of that.
Abbey Bartlet: You understand she's 27, right?
President Josiah Bartlet: I don't approve of that, either.