Hairdresser: Shouldn't I have a lawyer?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: You could call a lawyer... but if you do I'll tear this custody agreement into little pieces and Dean will walk away with your baby the minute it's born.
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Do I look hurt to you, Will?
Asst. Police Chief Will Pope: No. Unless I'm mistaken, that's your angry face.
Sgt. David Gabriel: You brought your cat to a crime scene?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: It's not my cat, it just lives with me and eats at my house.
Brenda Leigh Johnson: If you don't mind, Lieutenant, I like to have the answers before I ask questions.
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Are you trying to encourage me or make me nervous?
Asst. Police Chief Will Pope: I'm just trying to figure out why you're so damn confident you can get this woman to help you.
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Well, because, Will, I know a little something about admiring the boss and finding out he's not the guy you thought he was.
Mona: Here's what I do when I'm feeling down. I get very quiet and very still. And I say to myself, "Everyone in the world is as miserable and empty as I am. They're just better at pretending." Try it sometime. It might bring you some peace.
Milo Peck: He likes to play the field. He takes after me.
Julia: A baboon in heat takes after you.
Milo Peck: Funny. You're killing me, you're really killing me. Oh yeah, I'm already dead. I forgot.
George Malley: This is good, Lace. I think you're a good cook.
Lace Pennamin: No, I'm not. I only make two things pretty well: pork chops and, um, turkey.
George Malley: Hm. Which is this?
Lace Pennamin: So, let me ask you something, George. When a man comes over with a basket full of tomatoes, what is he expecting? Dinner?
George Malley: Nah, no, no. Just hoping.
Linda Powell: I think that, a) you have an act, and that, b) not having an act is your act.
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