Captain Nemo: Mr. Land, you saved my life. Why?
Ned Land: That's a good question. Well, there's only one thing a fella can do when he's made a mistake as big as this.
Conseil: What?
Ned Land: Get drunk.
Quotes from Kirk Douglas movies and TV shows
Ned Land: There's one thing you ought to know, Professor: Nemo's cracked. I've yet to see the day you can make a deal with a mad dog. So while you're feeding him sugar, I'll be figuring a plan to muzzle him.
Jonathan: Don't worry. Some of the best movies are made by people working together who hate each other's guts.
Jonathan: Because he was a drunk, you're a drunk. Because he loved women, you're a tramp. But you forget one thing: he did it with style.
Jonathan: Look. Put five men dressed like cats on the screen, what do they look like?
Fred: Like five men dressed like cats.
Jonathan: If you dream, dream big.
Magda Simon: Michael! Michael! Oh, Mike... It's so good to see you after so long... I'm sorry. I'm very late. How are you?
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: How do I look?
Magda Simon: Tired, like you've been making love to all the girls in America.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Eh, it's good to be back!
Maj. Safir: Colonel Marcus?
Bert Harrison: Merry Christmas.
Maj. Safir: My name is Safir, and my business is private.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Bert Harrison, my law partner. Mr. Safir, who conducts his private business in Macy's window.
Jacob Zion: They told you, I suppose, that I have a terrible temper.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: I served in Germany under General blood-and-guts Patton. You're a pussycat.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Why do you let women to go on these convoys?
Asher Gonen: Magda volunteered.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: She's been through enough. She just lost her husband, she's in a terrible st.
Asher Gonen: Look, we need everyone. Especially since the British search us for weapons. Being British, they're also too polite most of the time to search a woman thoroughly.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: You're lucky you're not occupied by the French.
Asher Gonen: We have to pretend to know everything because we know so little.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: And everything's going to be different from now on, huh?
Asher Gonen: Of course not. We'll criticize every decision you make, but that doesn't mean we won't do it.
Emma Marcus: I was the only girl in Brooklyn who didn't get pregnant during the war.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Hm?
Emma Marcus: My mother kept the statistics.
Emma Marcus: Did you ever notice we don't have any children?
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Only me.
Magda Simon: From now on, I'm your sister.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Hmm, that's nice. What's the attitude on incest in this country?
Magda Simon: Very biblical. Especially since I'm also married. My husband is an officer in the Palmach... But you can try if you wish.
Magda Simon: Remember, if we are stopped by a British patrol, we are off for a weekend in the country.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: And you are my sister.
Magda Simon: Do you have good sex with your wife?
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: What goes on in that pretty head of yours?
Magda Simon: Andre's not very good in bed.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Well, just close your eyes and tell the doctor everything.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Suppose I go as a private citizen?
Aide to Gen. Randolph: Then don't involve the Army in any way. Don't use your rank or even your right name.
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Is it all right with you if I keep the same sex?
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: Oh do not die, for I will hate all women so when thou art gone.
Gen. Mike Randolph: If I were running the Pentagon, I'd have you stood up against the wall. Instead, they'll probably pin a medal on you. Have you ever heard of the word discipline? A staff officer acting like a kid playing Cowboys-and-Indians is an example that could cost a hundred lives. What are you trying to prove, Marcus?
Col. David 'Mickey' Marcus: I wish the h__l I knew, sir.
Carl 'Buster' Marzack: I'm getting too old for this shit.
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