Quotes from Kevin Spacey movies and TV shows

Lester: Janey, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself and blackmailed him for almost $60,000. Please pass the asparagus.

Lester: Here I am, jerking off in the shower. This will be the highlight of my day.

Lester: My job consists basically of masking my contempt for the assholes in charge and at least once a day retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off, while fantasizing about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell.
Brad: Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself.

Baby: You and I are a team.
Doc: Don't feed me any more lines from 'Monsters, Inc.' It pisses me off.

Doc: That's my baby.
Bats: Fuck your baby.

Bats: This one, they say that listens to the music all the time?
Griff: I mean, is he retarded?
Doc: 'Retarded' means slow. Was he slow?
Griff: No.
Doc: He had an accident when he was a kid. Still has a hum in the drum. Plays music to drown it out. And that's what makes him the best.

Baby: One more job and I'm done.
Doc: "One more job" and we're straight. Now I don't think I need to give you the speech about what would happen if you say no, how I could break your legs and kill everyone you love because you already know that, don't you?
Baby: Yeah.

Bobby Darin: You're gonna be easy to love.

Bobby Darin: Memories are like moonbeams, we do with them what we will.

Larry Mann: Sometimes you gotta chew your own leg off to get out of life's traps.

Larry Mann: There are people in this world, Bob, who look very official while they are doing what they are doing. And do you know why?
Bob Walker: Why?
Larry Mann: Because they don't know what they are doing. Because if you know what you are doing, then you don't have to look like you know what you are doing, because it comes naturally.

Bob Walker: Throw me in the water and see if I can swim.
Larry Mann: I think you're missing the point here Bob, we're about to throw you off a cliff and see if you can fly.

Larry Mann: Murdoch? Oh, well, he's gone on to his great reward. Yeah... yeah, they say he's in Florida somewhere.

Larry Mann: Did you mention perhaps what line of industrial lubricants Jesus would have endorsed?

Larry Mann: Phil... man, we're in Witchita, Kansas. What does it matter whether we're on the 1st floor or the 500th floor? It all looks the same.

Larry Mann: Here's to the profound religious experience that comes from doing a job well and being grossly underpaid.

Larry Mann: Well, I'll be a son of a bitch! I don't smoke, you quit drinking, Bob here wouldn't even dream of lusting after a woman... between the three of us, we're practically Jesus.

Ron Levin: There are only 17 Bullas on the entire planet, and every single one of them... is locked in a museum.
Joe Hunt: It's a fake.
Ron Levin: But you thought it was an original.
Joe Hunt: Yeah.
Ron Levin: And why?.. Because the perception of reality... is more real than reality itself.

Hopper: If I didn't promise my mother on her deathbed that I wouldn't kill you, I'd kill you!
Molt: You know, no-one appreciates that more than I do.

Jack Abramoff: Washington is like Hollywood, but with uglier faces.