Billy Rosewood: How'd it go?
Axel Foley: What would you guys say if I told you there was a six-foot blonde working here?
Billy: Witnesses reported a six-foot blonde at the Adriano's robbery.
John Taggart: Axel, this isn't Detroit you know. Six-foot blonde women grow on trees in California.
Billy: He's right. They're everywhere.
Axel Foley: You just hit a squad car!
Rosewood: I know, I know, it's OK, I know the guy. He's a jerk!
Chief Harold Lutz: You moron! You call the supervising agent of the goddamn FBI to help break this alphabet code? This is a local crime. My men will solve it. Locally, Roseweed.
Detective Billy Rosewood: Sir, my name's not Roseweed.
Chief Harold Lutz: Oh shut up! Please!
Businessman: It says one hundred percent guaranteed, you moron.
Brad Hamilton: Mister, if you don't shut up I'm gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass.
Brad Hamilton: Why don't you get a job Spicoli?
Jeff Spicoli: What for?
Brad Hamilton: You need money.
Jeff Spicoli: All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
Jeff Spicoli: No shirt, no shoes.
Jeff and Stoner Buds: No dice! Ohhhh.
Brad Hamilton: Right. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Jeff Spicoli: He's the full hot orator.
Max Landsberger: Lesson No.4: the secret to survival here is never make a decision.
Jack Issel: Never?
Max Landsberger: Never. The minute you do, you're screwed.
Jack Issel: Exactly what is our side of the Allenville story?
Max Landsberger: Were losing money hand over fist.
Jack Issel: That's not true.
Max Landsberger: No, but it's our side of the story. Lesson No.55: there are no truths, only stories.
Ed Lautner: Uh excuse me, do you mind if we drop you off on the freeway, we're in kind of a hurry?
Dexter 'Dex' Strang: Whatever.
Ken Kessler: I mean, what the hell's the point of being a decent person when no-one is? Let's be assholes and get rich.
Sandy: I don't think he loves her.
Ken Kessler: Well, let's face it, she's not Mother Teresa. Gandhi would have strangled her.
Ken Kessler: Sandy, it's over. Sam isn't going to pay the ransom, he couldn't care less. I'm no criminal. I can't even sell retail, and that's legal.
Sandy: No matter what I do, there's nothing I can say... she just tears into me! She hates me.
Ken Kessler: Sandy, you're her kidnapper. She's supposed to hate you.
Dr. Neil Miller: Charlie, I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
Charlie: That's okay, Neil. You were just denying your inner child.
Dr. Neil Miller: You're going to make a great psychiatrist someday, kid.
Charlie: Nah. I think that I'm going to go into the family business.
