Elektra: You're a pain in the ass.
Abby Miller: Yeah, just like you.
Abby Miller: What did you tell my dad? Did you tell him I broke into your house?
Elektra: Yeah, because you did break in.
Abby Miller: Well, you didn't have to tell him. I thought you were cool.
Elektra: I'm not.
Elektra: I like your bracelet, by the way. Do you know what those are? Here. They're warrior beads. They're from Indonesia. Centuries ago, you had to be the best fighter in your village to earn them.
Abby Miller: Wow. I bought 'em off eBay.
Anna McDoogles: I was just masturbating.
Mark Bellison: That... Makes me think of your vagina.
Mac MacGuff: Whats that thing?
Vanessa Loring: It's a pilates machine.
Mac MacGuff: What do you make with it?
Vanessa Loring: Oh you don't make anything with it, its for exercise.
Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?
Vanessa Loring: You think you're really going to do this?
Juno MacGuff: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.
Vanessa Loring: That's great.
Mark Loring: Keep it in the oven.
Vanessa Loring: So... How are we going to do this?
Juno MacGuff: Uh, aren't I just gonna, ya know, squeeze it out and, hand it over to you?
Gerta Rauss: Mark and Vanessa are willing to negotiate an open adoption...
Mac MacGuff: What do you mean?
Juno MacGuff: Wait... No! I mean, can't we just, like, kick this old school? Like, I have the baby, put it in a basket and send it your way, like, Moses and the reeds?
Mark Loring: Technically, that would be kicking it Old Testament.
Gerta Rauss: ...So, we all agree that a closed adoption is the best decision for all involved?
Juno MacGuff: SSHHIT! YES! Close it up!
Vanessa Loring: How do I look?
Bren MacGuff: Like a new mom. Scared shitless.
Adam Leavitt: Sir, not to beat a dead horse, but if there was ever a time for us to put boots on Saudi sand, I mean, don't you think this is it?
Janet Mayes: There's no way, Adam. They will never allow it.
Adam Leavitt: Then let's just ask.
Janet Mayes: The Saudi Royal Family cannot appear as if they're losing control. If they lose control of their country, lose control of the people, they risk losing control of the oil. And that's not going to happen.
Christy Beam: I lost my faith. Because of that, I didn't see what was all around me. Albert Einstein said there are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle and the other is as though everything is a miracle. I'm the first to tell you I wasn't living my life as though everything is a miracle. I missed a lot. Miracles are everywhere.
Anna Beam: Why do you think God hasn't healed me?
Christy Beam: There are so many things I don't know. But I know God loves you.
Jim Green: Have a great day.
Cindy Green: That's too much pressure.
Jim Green: Have the day you have.
Riley North: You didn't serve the justice. I will.
Dr. Harrison Copeland: What's there to hate?
Julia Fitzpatrick: Nothing, if you're a handsome, divorced doctor, but for the rest of us single women, it's kind of a giant cosmic bitchslap. It's like the universe saying, look, remember when you were fourteen and you had cystic acne and braces and you played the saxophone in the marching band and no one would invite you to the winter formal? Well nothing's changed.
Dr. Harrison Copeland: Oh, I would crawl over cut glass to take you to the winter formal. And then I would prescribe Retin-A for your skin.
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